Under the Influence

18 Mar

It’s really interesting, isn’t it, the way you become what you like?

I didn’t wear my peacoat nearly as much before I started watching Sherlock, and I certainly never left my collar up. Ever since White Collar, whenever I put on a hat, I try to spin it like Neal Caffrey and end up looking like I never quite mastered fine motor skills. My hair has been in milkmaid braids more times than I’d care to admit since I began to watch the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and my nails are long and painted red right now. Not because they match my outfit, mind you. Because this.

amy

It’s worth mentioning at this point that if you understood every reference I just made, I owe you a firm handshake and a root beer float.

There are some entertainment-induced tendencies I don’t pick up that I wish I would (mad archery skills, River Song’s hair, etc. ) and tendencies I do pick up that I wish I wouldn’t (spontaneous British accent at inappropriate times, and I recently used “totes,” in a conversation).

Pre-Nerd me would probably think I was some sort of lunatic if she could see me now. Though, to be perfectly honest, it would not (did not)  take long to convert her to the nerd side.

But how far is this going to go? I don’t want to wake up in a year and find that nothing I do or say or believe is in any way my own. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.

The media tries really hard to remake people and tell them what to think. From beauty, to love, to infinity and beyond. I don’t even like people close to me to make big decisions for me. Why would I ever want the media to make them for me? I have to remind myself that although I may find that my emotions are often at the mercies of Joss Whedon, neither he nor his characters may touch me, my soul. That belongs to Someone Else, and I am its caretaker. I will not be, I am not one of the media’s puppets, and no matter how much it seems otherwise, I am not controlled by Steven Moffat. … I say this mainly because I assume that if I were, I’d most likely be dead by now (Pass up an opportunity to write something passive-aggressive about everyone’s favorite/most hated human being? Not this girl!).

Thanks for letting me rant. Every now and then, I get the urge to assert my free will. Thankfully, even after being the girl who had to replay the last few seconds of Lizzie Bennet Diaries #97 several times just to listen to three [beautiful] words over and over, I like to imagine that I have some aspects of my life at least kind of in control. That’s all anyone in this messed-up world can ask, right?

Perfectly sane, logical young woman – out.

And now that she’s gone, I really need to get something off my chest. Is it just me, or should no show ever be allowed to have as much backstory as Once Upon a Time has? Or as many new characters per episode? That show is turning me into a stark raving madwoman, please send help.

Okay, that’s really all now.

Have a spectacular day, friends!

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11 Responses to “Under the Influence”

  1. The Voyager March 18, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

    You owe me a firm handshake and a root beer float.

    I know exactly what you mean. We nerds need to identify with our fandoms, but not let our fandoms become us, because then, like you said, we’re no longer ourselves. We’re a product of someone else’s creativity. (Side note: have you watched ‘Don’t Hug Me, I’m Scared’ on YouTube? If not, do, and then look up its meaning.)

    But oh my goodness I know precisely what you mean about Once Upon A Time. I’d help you, but it’s taken over my life and made me a stark raving madwoman as well, while in reality it’s not even that good. 😛

    • Emory March 19, 2013 at 12:03 pm #

      Yes! That’s totally what I’m saying, both about the post and Once Upon A Time!
      Also, I looked up “Don’t Hug Me, I’m Scared,” and though I may have nightmares for the rest of my life, that was a really powerful video and super cool. Thanks for showing me!
      Regarding the root beer float, let me know next time you’re in Central Oregon, and we’ll make it happen. 🙂

  2. chantalle93 March 19, 2013 at 3:51 am #

    I’ve found that if I watch too much Doctor Who or Sherlock I talk in a British accent haha

    • Emory March 19, 2013 at 12:03 pm #

      It’s completely unavoidable!

  3. Cassie March 19, 2013 at 11:19 am #

    I’m here to collect on my rootbeer float. And yes, I agree that, no matter how fabulous cheekbones/rednails/milkmaid braids may seem, there is always One Thing more important 🙂

    • Emory March 19, 2013 at 12:11 pm #

      Thank you! That, absolutely! Even though I do love me some cheekbones. Cassie, you can have a root beer float any time you please. 😉

  4. Emily C. March 22, 2013 at 10:43 am #

    Whoo! I got all your refs, too! ;DD Hee… sorry…. I know I’m just another crazy stranger fellow fan. Just liked the way you put things about some shared favorites. Especially certain fandoms/Internet stuff and… ahem… yes, Once Upon A Time lately. Gghhhh. Seriously?! I was basically Ten, a couple of times lately, going ‘What? What?? What?!’ ;p ;D

    I also was nodding in uncertain thought at the identity stuff and just chiming in with wondering about, too…. I mean… sheesh, it’s so easy to lose yourself in something you love, and on the one hand, that’s great! I mean, that’s what people create for, and get a buzz sharing it with each other. But I also really wish I could knock off that voice of doubt and self-confidence with ‘belonging’ by thinking other people are more ‘fans’ than me because they’re more brushed up on everything to do with it and incorporate it into their style, and such. When honestly, we love so many different things, impossible to emulate/imitate it all… right? I’m just picturing Sherlock meeting an uber-fan who tries to dress/talk/think like him, giving a look over, and going ‘Boring!’ ;D

    • Emory March 22, 2013 at 12:18 pm #

      Right? Once Upon a Time needs some serious help! Thank you for the Ten reference. Always appreciated. 🙂
      I agree with how trying to get others to be immersed in something is the reason for creativity, but it’s just so darn easy to get… carried away? And there are a lot of people with whom I feel that fan-self-doubt you spoke of. I totally know what you’re talking about.
      I think you’re right about Sherlock’s reaction. He would just see someone who let themselves be utterly defined by something else – something I’m certain he would find boring. 😉

      • Emily C. March 24, 2013 at 6:50 pm #

        Ha! Yes… thank you! 😉 It’s humorous/frustrating/ridiculously silly how I let myself get the tendency to poke at myself so much for being ‘caught up’ on whatever it is…. being familiar more of the old Sherlock or Doctor or Avengers ‘canon’, or the pile of other shiny titles I want to have read/seen, or other stuff I hear other geeks talking about (so, what, I’m caught up with them? there’s always gonna be tons more out there to look at). How do you keep yourself from straying in that direction?

        Heh… yes, it’s kind of an amusing twist, to pause and think of it the way Sherlock would see it. Because then it just seems a little silly. Like the way he reacted to the fan Kitty Riley. ;D And yeah… there are some people out there who /seriously/ lose themselves/revolve lives around something.
        I dunno…. just been thinking about it, and just wanted to ping appreciation back with what wrote…. thanks. It’s very human, isn’t it… both the imitation/emulation of an adored person/character/leader, and clinging to our selves. I’m still me. But then… you said, that’s kinda why it’s so nice to have the outlet/presence of a fellow fandom to share in it. 🙂 Which I’m sure I’m going to need after watching whatever craziness comes back with the Doctor (which you’ll probably also blog about!) ;D ;D Yay!

  5. Merrilee G Lewis March 24, 2013 at 12:34 pm #

    Kudos to that Someone Else!

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