Trailer Breakdown of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

12 Jun

Last December, the first part of The Hobbit hit theaters, and minds everywhere exploded. Mainly due to the fact that they would have to wait a year for the next one. Well, friends? The wait is over.

Well, not over. In fact, the preview is finally out, so that might make the wait harder. But, hey, here’s to six more months! If you have not seen it yet, you can watch the official teaser for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug here. For everyone else, let’s talk about this trailer.

Hob_1

Paramount Pic – Wait, no, this is a shot from the film. Forget I said anything.

“Where does your journey end?”

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“You seek that which would bestow upon you the right to rule.”

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“The quest to restore a homeland and slay a dragon.”

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You know that’s right. Is it just me, or does Thorin look a little less glamorous than the internet made him out to be last December? Six months of hiatus will do that to a character. Also, fighting Orcs and living in caves. Hair is probably the least of his worries. He and Loki should meet up and talk it out.

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The barrel scene!
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The treetop scene!

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The barrel scene!
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Tarzan-esque Elves scene?
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(That’s beyond our borders. You must never go there, Simba.)

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An Elf draws his bow. It’s really time for this Elf/Dwarf hostility to end. It’s getting us no –

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“Do not think I won’t kill you, Dwarf.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Massive demon bear?Hob_14

Chill out everyone, the Hobbit has a toothpick sword.
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Arwen! You’re looking fabulously intense, as usual. **UPDATE: Nope. False alarm, it’s a brand-new Elf chick. This is not the Elf you’re looking for, move along.
Hob_16

“It is not our fight.”

“It is our fight.”

Well, that settles that. Good talk, guys.

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Treat yourself to this shot of Bilbo sliding down a hill of gold coins, Scrooge McDuck style.Hob_18

“What if it’s a trap?”

“It’s undoubtedly a trap.”

It gives me great joy to see Magneto and the Seventh Doctor talking things over.

What? This movie is a LOTR/X-Men/Sherlock/Doctor Who crossover, isn’t it?

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That’s a quality word. They should put it in the title.
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“Such is the nature of evil. In time, all foul things come forth.”

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Oh, good, everyone’s least favorite subplot character!Β Hob_22

Β Yes. All my yes. This scene, right here, this is going to be epic.

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Care to expound?
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“If you awaken that beast,”

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“You will destroy us all.”

… Will Turner? Who’s manning the Flying Dutchman?
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Hob_27Hob_28Hob_29Hob_30

“I wonder if this movie’s going to be shot in 3D?”

~No one ever
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“Was that an earthquake?”

“That, my lad,”

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Yeah, take your sweet time turning around, Balin. It’s not like any of us are in mortal danger.
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“Was a dragon.”

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December 13th, 2013.Β Hob_35

Come on, Sherlock Smaug, John Bilbo has a lot more reason to be cross with you than you with him. He just wants to be your friend.Hob_36“I don’t have ‘friends.'”

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18 Responses to “Trailer Breakdown of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug”

  1. Merrilee Lewis June 12, 2013 at 9:39 am #

    I have to see #1 before I understand ANY of what you just wrote!!!!

    • Emory June 12, 2013 at 3:23 pm #

      Hahaha! So does Daddy!

  2. geekygirl91 June 12, 2013 at 11:19 am #

    Oh,I just love you. LEMME LOVE YOU! I’ve never say enough how much I like this blog.
    And

    LOTR/X-Men/Sherlock/Doctor Who crossover

    Yes please!! *fangirl squee*

    Anyhow,why does Leggy-chan (aka Legolas,in case you’re wondering) have so much eyeliner? D: It disturbs me *hides in the woods*
    Is it okay if I want Smaug and Bilbo to become best friends forevah? Γ§_Γ§

    • Emory June 12, 2013 at 3:26 pm #

      Awwww, I love you too darling! πŸ™‚ Thank you, thank you!
      Leggy-chan does have a few more feminine qualities than I like him to have.. And his eyes look like *lightbulbs* in this movie. When did that happen?
      Also, it’s completely normal to want a friendship between a dragon and a hobbit! Completely normal.

  3. Emily C. June 12, 2013 at 11:33 am #

    Yes! I may have ‘squee’d a little too much at seeing the trailer posted, too… πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ (and I’m so glad (and SURE of) that I’m not the only one who alternated between “Smaug!!/Dragon!!/Awesome hobbit face-off!!” and “John! You found him!” ;DD

    • Emory June 12, 2013 at 3:27 pm #

      Hahahaha! Yes! That’s an awkward way to find out your friend is alive, innit? I understand why Smauglock was so taken aback. πŸ˜‰

  4. amynye48 June 12, 2013 at 11:40 am #

    Yes. Just yes. This blog post was my reaction in a nutshell. I have a feeling it’s going to be just as good as the first one which means…Yeahhhh. BUT I guarantee you’ll still find me waiting for 7 hours out in below freezing weather AGAIN. Yep, I’ve got my priorities straight.

    • Emory June 12, 2013 at 3:32 pm #

      Hahaha! I respect your priorities, my love. πŸ™‚
      And you may well be correct, but I think this one has a very good shot at being better than the last one! Fingers crossed, yes?

  5. kireliron June 12, 2013 at 12:28 pm #

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. I laughed out lout. Yeah. It’s that good. And also, so far, I’m slightly disappointed with Smaug because in that last picture he looks like the Monstrous Nightmare from How To Train Your Dragon.

    (http://www.dragnix.net/Digital_and_Analog_Dragons/How_to_Train_Your_Dragon/HtTyD_27.jpg)

    Come on, PJ! Do it right! Don’t mess it up! You got this!
    (P.S. Even if I don’t like the Smaug, I am still going to watch your movie. Do not fear.)

    • Emory June 12, 2013 at 3:29 pm #

      oh. my. gosh. It looks the SAAAME.
      Thank you for opening my eyes! Hahaha! Never going to unsee that. πŸ™‚
      And thank you, I’m so happy it made you laugh!

  6. Invisible Woman June 12, 2013 at 1:09 pm #

    “I will burn you. I will burn, the HEART out of you.”

    BURN SMOG YOU IDIOT!

    You make even this trailer something interesting. You win. The award of the hour goes to YOU!
    Have a great day.

    • Emory June 12, 2013 at 3:30 pm #

      Hahahaha! Moriarty could make some pretty impressive dragon shoes out of him… :O
      Thank you so much for this award, cupcake! I will hang it on my wall proudly. Have a day full of fabulous!

  7. Gemma June 14, 2013 at 4:59 am #

    OMG THANKYOU!! I didn’t even know this was out! Looks awesome πŸ˜€ One thing I am not sure of though is the new red-headed elf character (I WISH that was Arwen!) apparently she is literally a random character they have added in there (shes not in the book or appendices) because they thoughts they needed a strong female character to balance out the amount of strong male characters. I’m all for strong willed females, but just chucking her in there for the hell of it doesn’t sit well with me, Arwen and Galadriel are pretty bad ass, and just because they aren’t in our face doesn’t mean we don’t think of them and the awesome characters they are πŸ™‚ Until I see the movie I will be wary of her πŸ˜›

    • Emory June 14, 2013 at 8:47 pm #

      Yaayy, thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! πŸ˜€
      Ohhhhh, random-elf-girl not being Arwen makes way more sense! Thank you, I will fix that. I totally agree, strong lady characters are fabulous, but not when they’re randomly stuffed in just for the sake of being present. But maybe she will make us love her? Chances are, at least, I will like her more than I liked the pale Orc in the last movie. πŸ™‚ Fingers crossed!

      • Gemma June 15, 2013 at 5:26 am #

        Haha I hope she gives us reason to love her, otherwise she will bother me for the whole movie πŸ˜› I love the Harry Potter movies, but I love the books more (plus read them SO MUCH when I was younger :P) and when they changed things in the movies/left stuff out I would be pissed about it for the rest of the movie πŸ˜› I didn’t mind the pale orc, I think he is from the appendices and I guess they decided to choose him because of his history with Thorin πŸ™‚

      • Whovian99 July 15, 2013 at 1:52 pm #

        Guys, you do know there’s rumors that she’s going to have some kind of romantic connection with either Kili or Legolas?

  8. Emily C. June 15, 2013 at 7:16 pm #

    Oh, and just because I can’t help myself (again), a tiny bit of adorable link spam…because don’t know if you’ve seen the cuteness, and only a few geeks I follow I know might appreciate: ^_^
    So the Happy Hobbit (sister vloggers or something? Idk, only came across this one vid), recorded their reaction to watching the new trailer. I know, fan-reactions are a dime a dozen, but it’s so cute seeing such geeky joy. ;D It’s here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=52ktuLmy8pM
    Then. Then!! Somehow Peter saw it, and this happened: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ1LCvs8Xcc Aww! I love how they love that their fans love it! ;D
    Then the sisters saw that! I can’t imagine knowing some of my favorite people saw my vid… and they totally pulled a ‘Hobbitception’ and reacted to the reaction of the reaction! ;DD

    So, to stop rambling and summarize – Hobbit awesome, Fans adorable. ^_^

    • Emory June 18, 2013 at 6:09 pm #

      Awwwwwwwww that was wonderful! I love to see happy fangirls! πŸ˜€

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