Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined

18 Jun

There are a lot of careers out there. There are some I’m suited for, and way more that I am most definitely not.

But I’ll never know unless I scope them out, right? Today, I’m looking at some of the careers I’ve been very interested in as of late.

Scarer at Monsters Inc.

Upside: I can be scary. And the weird part of my head quite likes the idea of sneaking around and screaming at people while they’re asleep.

Downside: The normal part of my head is very ashamed that the weird part just wrote that down. Also, I would apologize profusely to the kids I scare. And if an adorable little girl followed me out of her room, I would probably play with her and be promptly fired.

Editor of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Upside: Adventure. Interesting people (and other… beings). Universal travel. The chance to help countless generations after me to do the same (for less than 30 Altairian dollars a day).

Downside: High possibility of getting stranded on mostly harmless (but boring) planets. One of the more dangerous and unpredictable careers I could choose. It’s very improbable that a human could land it anyway. But hey, more improbable things have happened, yeah?

Captain of the Enterprise.

Upside: Travel, adventure, and discovery. Witty banter dished out liberally on a daily basis. Flirting in the workplace is practically encouraged.  Loose code of conduct allows me to mess up, get fired, and get re-hired immediately if I endear myself to commanders beforehand.

Downside: There are definite reasons as to why no man has ever boldly gone where I’m going. And I will probably find out the hard way.


Upside: My job is saving the world. What better job description can you get? Also, my co-workers are entertaining, interesting, and occasionally mythical. Very few careers promise that. Also? SHAWARMA.

Downside: Paparazzi. Being constantly starstruck by co-workers. Possibility of dying with each workday, and the pressure of being a “superhero.” PTSD and anxiety attacks have been common in this line of work.

Consulting detective.

Upside: The ultra-intelligence needed to allow me to fit in to this career allows me to figure everyone out, all day every day. I can tell what’s on people’s minds, and I can work that to my advantage. Also: being arrogant is in my job description, and I am my own boss. The police let me know when they need me, and I let them know when they can have me.

Downside: That ultra-intelligence I mentioned would take a very long time to gather, and while I’m not bashing my own intellect, let’s just say I cannot tell a computer programmer by his tie. Another con would be that serial killers are always trying to murder me. As diverting as I’m sure it is, it is rather inconvenient for my long-term plan (living). And I would have no friends. Well, maybe one.

I can tell that this is going to take me a little time. After all, choosing a career is nothing to take lightly. I’m sure I missed a couple fiction-based occupations, so be sure to let me know if any of you have something in mind!

Have a day full of literal and metaphorical sunshine, and I wish you all the best of luck with your endeavors, fictional and otherwise.





23 Responses to “Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined”

  1. Merrilee G Lewis June 18, 2013 at 10:43 am #

    I am thinking you would make a fabulous Consulting Detective 🙂

    • Emory June 19, 2013 at 9:39 am #

      Hahahaha, thaaaanks! 😀

  2. Julia June 18, 2013 at 12:05 pm #

    Time travel!

    • Emory June 18, 2013 at 5:05 pm #

      Yesss! Does “Time Lord” count as a career? Because I want it. 🙂

  3. Kayla Sanchez June 18, 2013 at 12:06 pm #

    I honestly thought you were going to list legitimate careers for people who enjoying working with books and fiction… This was much better 😀

    • Emory June 18, 2013 at 5:06 pm #

      Ahahahaha! Thank you so much!
      Maybe there will be a serious future-oriented post someday… But it is not this day!

  4. Invisable Woman June 18, 2013 at 11:10 pm #

    I since you will likey have some humans to support one day, I would sugest that you look into some of the better paying jobs. A dentist maybe, or perhaps a Doctor 😉
    If nothing else, you would make a really, remarkably brilliant writer 🙂
    Wishing you the same amount of sunshine!
    P.S. If you want to be a scarer, remember that you have to have a degree first 😉

    • Emory June 19, 2013 at 9:38 am #

      Hm, dentistry freaks me out, and I’ve found that being a Doctor mainly pays in painful tears and bittersweet moments. But still, never a boring workday, yes? And I think I could hold my own at Monsters U. What’s scarier than a creepy little girl in your room in the middle of the night? Oh, that’s right, NOTHING
      And thank you for your writer comment, you are an unspeakably fabulous person (and not just because of your comment, I promise). 🙂

  5. Gemma June 19, 2013 at 5:14 am #

    Since I was 11 I decided I would like to be a Witch at Hogwarts 😀 Though being a Scarer would be delightfully evil mwa ha ha haaaa! >:D

    • Emory June 19, 2013 at 9:28 am #

      Aw, you would be the brightest witch of your time! 🙂

      • Gemma June 19, 2013 at 10:44 pm #

        Take that Hermione! 😛

  6. Emily C. June 21, 2013 at 12:24 pm #

    Awesome. Again. Heart it. ;D The usual humor, quirk, and stuffed with perfect refs.
    But I concur… you forgot a time traveler! 😀 Erm… but you’re right… often pays too much in bittersweet…. ;( What about just a member of U.N.I.T. or Torchwood, then…. 😉
    And I just have one other favorite to add, really… surely there’s nothing wrong with wanting to join my favorite ‘Leverage’ team as one of the best ever thiefs, hackers, or even a grifter…… *innocent look* Thrills! Bringing down the actual bad guys that operate as ‘good guys’! Elite team that’s like my family! Unfortunately also dangerous! Getting caught by Interpol! Living a hidden (or double) life!
    But I think I’ll pass on trying to get into the Evil League of Evil….. ;P >;)

    • Emory June 21, 2013 at 1:12 pm #

      Ooooh, you have wonderful ideas and aspirations! 😀 I may have to do another post to log all the things I left out!
      No Evil League of Evil for you? More room for me, then. I’ve been working on my evil laugh for YEARS. It’s just about standards. 😉

      • Emily C. June 24, 2013 at 9:46 pm #

        Awww…. thanks! ;D
        *quirks a look* Heh… have you, now? I’m afraid my ambitions aren’t evil enough, no. Hardly skilled enough with monster-fighting bad-assery to follow in the steps of the Winchesters or Constantine, either. More deviously good, like Leverage. Allll-thoughhh…… if Dream (of The Endless) ever wants an apprentice…. *excitedly hopeful look* 😉

  7. Daisy Prado July 3, 2013 at 12:36 pm #

    I definitely want to schwarma with Captain America…and fondue with Mr. Rogers…and just marry Steve!! 😉

    • Emory July 3, 2013 at 2:30 pm #

      You have superb taste, m’lady! 🙂

  8. Wasp July 10, 2013 at 12:03 am #

    Thank you, dear. I will definitely use this in my future job hunting (:

    • Emory July 10, 2013 at 6:19 am #

      Always happy to be of service, dear!

      • Wasp July 10, 2013 at 10:17 pm #



  1. Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined Part 2 | Freak of Fandom - July 25, 2013

    […] Part 1 of Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined, I discussed how important it is to begin thinking […]

  2. Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined Part 3 | Freak of Fandom - September 15, 2013

    […] Part 1 and Part 2 of my fictional job search, I covered eleven potential occupations, but there are still […]

  3. Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined Part 4 | Freak of Fandom - November 18, 2013

    […] the purpose of this series –  to find out which fictional careers best suit you and I.  Part 1, part 2, and part 3 covered seventeen of them, but the supply is not nearly exhausted. Join me as I […]

  4. Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined Part 5 | Freak of Fandom - August 17, 2015

    […] to the long-coming fifth installment of Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined (Parts 1, 2, 3, 4): Your source for when you want to start deciding where you fit in the […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: