Barely-Even-a-Trailer Breakdown for How to Train Your Dragon 2

15 Jul

There are movie trailers. And then there are movie teasers. You can tell them apart because one attempts to make you excited for a movie, and the other tries to get you psyched for a trailer. One offers little satisfaction, and the other offers none whatsoever. Today I will be breaking down the official teaser trailer for How to Train Your Dragon 2 (watch it here).

Why?

Because I am so excited for the trailer.

HTT_1

“VWOOM”

My little Night Fury is growing up so fast. It feels like just yesterday that he was trying to blow up a small Viking village and eat a young man. How time flies.

HTT_3

… And then the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail took Toothless for a joy ride? The Black Knight’s diagnosis of Toothless’s tail injury: It’s just a flesh wound.

But seriously, is that Hiccup or someone else, with a far less toothpick-esque physique?
HTT_4

“Yeah!”

Gotcha. I would know that I’m-perpetually-thirteen-years-old voice anywhere. Nice to see you again, Hiccup. And by “see you” I mean, “I’m frustrated that I can’t see your face; take off your ridiculously awesome helmet.”

HTT_5

Is this teaser just a demonstration of your mad skills? Because… I’m okay with that.
HTT_6

Yeah, That’s cool.

Slightly less romantic without your lady by your side, however. Are we going to see her? I want to see her. Maybe she’ll be in the trailer. GAH, I’m so stoked for the trailer.HTT_7

That sound you just heard was dozens of people who consider themselves grown-ups squealing at the immense amount of cute in this shot. Don’t judge.

HTT_8

“What do you think, Bud? Wanna give this a shot?”HTT_9

#NotAmused

“Toothless, it’ll be fine!”HTT_10

“Ready?”

HTT_11 HTT_12

“I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

No? Well, it would have made this scene four times more fabulous. Because, obviously, flying through the open sky with a dragon needs to be more fabulous.
HTT_13

Have you really thought this through, Hiccup?HTT_14

And now introducing, for those of you who don’t think wingsuit flying is epic enough on its own: DRAGONS.
HTT_15

“This is amazing!”

What –

Oh right. One leg.

HTT_16

WHAT! That is eleven months away! Why would you even pretend to give us a trailer now?HTT_17

Okay, so you’re finally taking off your helmet. Whatever. I can’t get excited for this, the movie doesn’t come out for centuries. In fact, we probably don’t even get a proper trailer for – HTT_18

um

HiccupHTT_19

WHOA SONHTT_20

I can’t even bring myself to make a snide comment about 3D.

That was a shock. In fact, I think that was five o’ clock shadow.

Zoom in, I dare you.

Man, the trailer is going to be epic.

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21 Responses to “Barely-Even-a-Trailer Breakdown for How to Train Your Dragon 2”

  1. Merrilee Lewis July 15, 2013 at 10:49 am #

    You are such a good writer!!

    • Emory July 15, 2013 at 11:29 am #

      You are such a good mother! So THERE.

  2. ihaveaumpalumpaonmyhead July 15, 2013 at 10:54 am #

    THAT. Those are my emotions. Thank you.

    • Emory July 15, 2013 at 11:30 am #

      Oh, anytime, my dear. I have emotions to spare.

  3. The Voyager July 15, 2013 at 1:23 pm #

    *ACTUAL LITERAL SQUEALING*

    edhjlmkfg,iauwyjjranewlkigoudurhjlk;oesdiuiahgjkweuihydaghkjsdfuiahykjdsflsdhgalksfdk

    WHY DO CARTOONS RUIN MY LIFE BY BEING SO HOT? Seriously. Bro. You can have a ridiculous name like Hiccup ANYTIME if you want, so long as you look like that. *BUG EYES*

    And you’re right. He totally does look like the Black Night. hahaha

    P.S. Your mum commenting on your post made me giggle.

    • Emory July 15, 2013 at 1:31 pm #

      [It made me giggle too. I promise you I’m not paying her to comment.]
      And also, I KNOW RIGHT
      AAAAAUUGGHHH How am I supposed to pretend I’m a normal human being if I have a crush on someone who’s not ONLY fictional, but also A CARTOON
      I can’t.
      Can’t even.
      He’s beautiful. darn it.

      • The Voyager July 15, 2013 at 1:34 pm #

        [My mom just creeps on my blog. *facepalm*]

        I am slightly concerned with myself for it, but you know what YOLO.

      • Emory July 15, 2013 at 1:43 pm #

        [Hahaha! Mom-creeping is the most sincere kind anyway.]
        That was the most acceptable use of YOLO. Congratulations.

  4. Whovian99 July 15, 2013 at 1:30 pm #

    Haha! I laughed more than I should have reading this post. I saw the first How To Train Your Dragon, like a year and half ago, and I barely remember anything. I really need to watch it again–but I have plenty of time, it seems, before 2 comes out. xD

    • Emory July 15, 2013 at 1:33 pm #

      Lady, you have WAY MORE TIME than necessary to watch this movie again. 🙂

      • Whovian99 July 15, 2013 at 1:45 pm #

        Haha, yep. 😀

  5. Kayla Sanchez July 15, 2013 at 2:10 pm #

    I had forgotten about Hiccup’s leg as well! And your reaction after he takes off the helmet – me too. Me too. Once again, a cartoon character is going to ruin my life.
    List of men who I will fall in love with:
    * Men above 30
    * Cartoon characters with dark hair
    I may have a problem.

    • Emory July 15, 2013 at 2:19 pm #

      You and I have the same problem, so I’m afraid I cannot help you. But I can tell you that you are so incredibly not alone.

  6. Kire July 15, 2013 at 5:29 pm #

    Hot fictional characters (cartoon or no) are the life ruiners of a nerd girl… Along with Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, etc.

    • Emory July 15, 2013 at 5:30 pm #

      You speak the truth, Wise One. Long have nerd girls dealt with agony because of these fictional characters of perfection.

      • Kire July 15, 2013 at 5:35 pm #

        Oh, that they would exist in the “real” world and that they would be our age…

      • Emory July 15, 2013 at 6:40 pm #

        Aye, there’s the rub.

  7. Emily C. July 18, 2013 at 9:10 pm #

    EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
    *cough. ahem. ‘scuse me* ;PPP ;D Didn’t realize the trailer, ahem, -teaser-, sheesh, was up already. Of course also alternating between happy ‘eeee’ sounds and giggling. Giggling even harder with your commentary added. Love it.
    Geez… kind of ridiculous, though, isn’t it? Funnily enough timing, had just read a little magazine blurb about the oddity of that practice. Apparently movie weekend ‘real estate’ is so prized, even though they know that so much could happen in the meantime (and indeed treat it with a grain of salt), they’re starting to grab more at those dates in the future anyway. Marvel and Pixar already have sequels and such lined up all the way to 2018!
    Anyhow. Ahem. *eeeeeeeeeee!* ;D

    • Emory July 18, 2013 at 9:50 pm #

      I’m so happy you liked it! 🙂
      And I just don’t know how I feel about this early trailer rudeness! I love trailers, love them to death, but I HATE waiting so looooong for the actual film! Humph! And teaser trailers… That’s just cruel.
      But I still love them.

      • Emily C. July 18, 2013 at 11:37 pm #

        I think we’re in an unfortunate phase of media, even more unfortunately very likely (and inadvertently) encouraged by what happened with the likes of Sherlock and similar shows with a long hiatus (or near-cancellation, or on-off lifespan, or prolonged sequel(s)). If we’ve proven to love it, we love it hard, and will stick around and wait for it, happily taking any tidbit they send our way to build up excitement. This is all totally vague speculation, though, and not sure when it started shifting, although yeah, it did seem it just used to be bare bones press statements about the existence of the thing and interview snippets while it was being made, and saving the excitement of the ‘hey look what you’ll be getting to watch’ trailer for just some months before it actually comes /out/. W…. what am I supposed to do with //this//? 😦

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The-Actual-Trailer-Breakdown for How To Train Your Dragon 2 | Freak of Fandom - January 8, 2014

    […] Dragon 2 was released quite  a while ago, but as I griped enough about the HTTYD 2 teaser in my barely-even-a-trailer-breakdown, it seemed as though I should follow through with the new one. And, also, I rather enjoy watching […]

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