The Daredevil Dark Knight

23 Aug

In every season of BBC’s Doctor who, there are a few monsters who are, put mildly, no one’s favorite. Among them are the face-absorbing Jabba-the-Hut guy, the green nudists with flatulence issues, and the pig slaves. Yes, pig slaves. 

Don’t ask.

In my case, these, and a couple of the other aliens, were viewed and then subsequently pushed into the dark corner of my brain that never sees the light of day. However, I recently received news that brought one of them out to the front of my mind.

Anybody remember this guy?

This is a Reaper. Reapers exist out of time, and when there is a disturbance in time, like a paradox, a Reaper may appear and try to fix the time disturbance by attacking and eating every living thing in sight.

And it looks like a pokemon. But we’re not going there.

Why am I reminded of this particular monster today? Some of the biggest news to come out of this year’s San Diego Comic-Con was the Batman/Superman team-up movie. Henry Cavill, who played Superman in the recently-released Man of Steel, has been cast as Superman in this film. However, it is common knowledge that Christian Bale, the only Batman that everyone can agree on, is not interested in playing the caped crusader again. Zack Snyder, the movie’s director, would have to cast someone to play Christian Bale playing Batman.

This brings us to now. Ladies and gentlemen, Snyder has announced that Ben Affleck (Also known as Marvel’s Daredevil) will be playing Christian Bale Batman. And not just Batman – a new Batman. A reboot Batman. A re-invented Batman for the generation that has already seen a re-invented Batman.

And just like that, the DC cinematic timeline fumbled around ungracefully and fell over with a thud.

And then the Reapers came and devoured every living thing in sight.

Now, I know that this sounds like a complaint, but I’m not complaining. In fact, I am delighted.

Do you guys realize what this means?

DC’s timeline is finally almost as screwed up as Marvel’s! The myriad inconsistencies in the X-Men films (she said, tip-toeing around the Spider-man issue) still outweigh this little double-Dark Knight debacle, but I’m sure this is just the beginning. No franchise is truly safe.

You get a paradox, you get a paradox, and you, and you!

But anyway, I think Ben Affleck is a good actor and will play a superb Batman (even if he doesn’t turn out to be the “the only Batman that everyone can agree on”). I just hope he, Superman, and all the DC fanboys and girls will be able to hold their own against the Reapers: winged, paradox-consuming abominations of the CGI industry.

I mean, last time, it took a Time Lord.

16 Responses to “The Daredevil Dark Knight”

  1. The Wandering Ragamuffin August 23, 2013 at 11:57 am #

    I just like you so much. Your writing is phenomenal, and your sense of humor is superb. Plus Jesus.

    Seriously, you’re my hero for the next day or so.

    • Emory August 23, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

      You have just made my next day or so fabulous. Thanks so much for the kind words, Ragamuffin!

    • secondchanced August 23, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

      Ugh, I SO agree with you, Ragamuffin!! 🙂

  2. youin5minutes August 23, 2013 at 6:40 pm #

    this is fantastic in every way! oh my goodness! I LOVE IT! you’re fantatsic. 🙂

    • Emory August 23, 2013 at 9:17 pm #

      You’re way too good to me! Thank you so much, sweetheart! 🙂

      • youin5minutes August 23, 2013 at 9:52 pm #

        I only speak the truth. 🙂

      • youin5minutes August 23, 2013 at 9:52 pm #

        I only speak the truth. 🙂

  3. geekygirl91 August 24, 2013 at 1:46 am #

    Since it was announced that Ben Affleck was going to play Batman,everyone was really upset. I tend not to have prejudices, I’ll wait to see what they’re gonna do with him,but honestly they should have stopped. They had their trilogy, they can’t keep going like that DD:
    However, brilliant as always. Maybe this time they’ll actually need a Doctor (yes PLEASE).

    P.S.: You were thinking about Zubats,didn’t you? >:D

    • Emory August 24, 2013 at 9:55 pm #

      I know what you mean – Batman is in grave danger of being done to death. But maybe the filmmakers thought with a reboot, they were erasing the old ones from the universe? Hmph.
      Anyway, yeah they brought Christopher Eccleston into the Marvel universe, so it’s time for, I don’t know, David Tennant or Matt Smith in the DC one, right? 😀
      P.S. (ooh, and Zubats are just right)

  4. The Voyager August 24, 2013 at 2:16 pm #


    • Emory August 24, 2013 at 9:39 pm #

      • The Voyager August 26, 2013 at 10:54 am #

        That was literally the best comeback that could have been made.

  5. Invisable Woman August 25, 2013 at 2:15 pm #

    Hm… I’m sensing major Doctor Who/ Batman crossover ops. Seriously.
    In a movie that already happens to be a crossover.
    Crossover Train-wreck Moment!

    • Emory August 26, 2013 at 3:17 pm #

      Heyhey, I do love me a crossover train wreck! 😀

  6. Wasp February 25, 2014 at 9:14 am #

    And then, then, of course, there are the evil screaming monkey/bat teachers from “School Reunion.” Let us not forget them xD

    • Emory February 25, 2014 at 10:58 am #

      No, um, let’s go ahead and forget them.

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