Trailer Breakdown for Captain America: The Winter Soldier

24 Oct

Just this morning, the trailer for Captain America: The Winter Soldier was released to the public. So why don’t we celebrate by psyching ourselves up for a movie not coming out until spring?

Mm. Maybe don’t think about that part. Instead, treat yourself to this beautiful spectacle of a trailer, and then swing back around bask in its glory with me.

cap_1

ca_2

“You doing anything fun Saturday night?”

Why, Natasha Romanoff, are you asking what it really sounds like you’re asking?
ca_3

“Well, all the guys in my barber shop quartet are dead, so, no, not really.”

Steve, honey, turn her down with grace, not with overwhelming guilt.ca_4

“You know, if you ask Kristin out from statistics, she’d probably say yes.”

Oh that’s okay then. Setting up the Avenger with the girl in statistics. That’s noble, I suppose.

ca_lala

“That’s why I don’t ask.”

“Too shy or too scared?”

ca_5

“Too busy!”

Good man. You set those priorities.
ca_6

You… Wait, can you even do that?
ca_7

“Was he wearing a parachute?”

“No…ca_8

… No he wasn’t.”ca_9

But-

You know what? Fine.

But you do remember what happened the last time you dropped from a plane into icy cold water, don’t you?ca_10

(applause for the Marvel sequence)ca_11

“I joined SHIELD to protect people.”ca_12

“Captain. To build a better world sometimes means tearing the old one down…ca_13

{In which the best bros go for a stroll}
ca_14

ca_16

… And that makes enemies.ca_17

Looks like someone took Iron Man’s contemptuous “spangly costume” comment to heart. Steve, normally I would tell you not to listen to your haters, but in this case… you did good.ca_18

Are you ready? For the world to see you as you really are?

“The world” played by Nick Fury,ca_19

Natasha Romanoff,ca_20

and… This dude. Yeah. Welcome aboard, This Dude. ca_22

Look out the window. You know how the game works.ca_23

ca_24

Disorder. War.
ca_25

Do my eyes deceive me, or is that the Winter Soldier’s mop of hair I see?
ca_26

… All it takes is one step.”

Is that This Dude or Nick Fury on the operating table? Either way, looks like

♪ our trio’s down to two. ♪

(Insert sound byte of Pumba saying “Oh”)

[Excuse me while I frantically try to convince you that I still believe in Clintasha, and assert my belief that this is strictly a bromance]

ca_28

“We’re gonna neutralize a lot of  threats before they even happen.”

Yeah, that never seriously backfires. Nick Fury, have you ever seen a little movie called Minority Report? I think you should watch it and just know that you’re setting yourself up for some really weird stuff, man.ca_29

“I thought the punishment usually came after the crime.”

“Yeah, well, welcome to 2014, grandpa.” (scoffs)

ca_30 ca_31

I would like to direct your attention to the bloke sitting on the hood of that car on the left. That is all, carry on.ca_32

“SHIELD takes the world as it is, not as we’d like it to be.”ca_33

“This isn’t freedom. This is fear.”

#MURICA

ca_35

“You need to keep both eyes open.”

Could you be a little more ambiguous, please?
ca_36

*awkward elevator music*ca_b

“Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?”

Good, diplomatic question. It’s important to get everyone’s opinio-

ca_37

ca_38

Come on guys, it was just a question. A “yes” or a “no” will do.
ca_39 ca_40

“Boy. That escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.”ca_41

I can’t really be angry about the long wait, what with my emotionally overwhelming November movie schedule and all.
ca_42

Well done, director of this film. I find myself inexplicably wanting to give this scene a hug.
ca_43

Less so now. And what happened to your American Ninja Warrior outfit, Steve?
ca_44

{In which the best bros share an attack hug}ca_a

Oh, no? Well, that would make more sense.
ca_45

As firm as I am in my belief that the Black Widow can probably take care of herself, I must say,

can we please get a slow clap for this fantastic gentleman?
ca_46

Oh dear. Hawkeye missed his cue. I like to think he’s off a yard or two out of frame, gesturing for Cap to hand Natasha over.

ca_47

THERE IT IS. There’s that sweaty mop of hair we know and love and kind of hate at the same time.ca_48

Okay, according to Fury’s expression, maybe it’s just hate.

Or possibly hair envy.
ca_49

Probably hair envy.
ca_50

Definitely hair envy.ca_51

But maybe with a little bit of oh-he’s-about-to-blow-my-armored-vehicle-half-way-to-Asgard.
ca_52

Yeah, come to think of it, that was probably a factor.
ca_53

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Ladies and gentlemen, this is how you dramatic.
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Rogers wishes he could dramatic. And also that his best friend and, might I add, only living friend had not been brainwashed into becoming the most theatrical villain this side of Loki.

That’s right. Just think about that for a while, and then, when you’ve finished weeping, come on over and I’ll console you. Maybe make some fondue.ca_56

“Gear up.”

Who are you to give the Captain orders? Who are you at all?

“It’s time.”

Time to find out who this dude is? Yes?ca_57

Yes? ca_58

Yes.
ca_59

Welcome to the big screen, Falcon.ca_60 ca_61

Besides the obvious awesome factor, I have the say my favorite thing about the last two images is how Winter Soldier looks like he’s having a grand old time and Captain America looks like he walked onto the wrong movie set.ca_62

the bike is backca_63

The ninja flips are backca_64

the helicarrier isca_65

Oh, that’s a shame.ca_66

Yes, my love, I accept you. I am stupid excited right now. Is it spring yet?
ca_67

But man, this is hurting my heart. STEVE I KNOW HE’S EVIL BUT HE’S YOUR FRIENDca_68

NEVERMIND RUNca_69 I’m going to go gorge myself on fondue until it comes out.

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16 Responses to “Trailer Breakdown for Captain America: The Winter Soldier”

  1. Brianna October 24, 2013 at 7:57 pm #

    Oh man, I don’t even know where to begin. I wasn’t going to watch the trailer till you came up with a breakdown, and I’m so glad I waited. This is soooo hilarious I was laughing out loud! (Literally! And as anyone who spends a reasonable amount of time on the net knows, that is quite the feat) And yet at the same time this post made me want to see the movie even more than the trailer would have. So, thanks!!!

    • Emory October 24, 2013 at 8:11 pm #

      Thank you so much, that means a lot to me! Especially the laughing out loud bit. I am always very pleasantly surprised when the internet manages to do that for me. 🙂 You have a spectacular day!

  2. Wasp October 24, 2013 at 9:27 pm #

    Hey there, you lovely little cupcake (:
    I would like to say first: “On our trio’s down to two…” I would like you to know that I inserted a mental “Oh”
    Secondly… I really hope they don’t crush all our firm beliefs in Clintasha… but I like to believe that they would never do that.. I mean they’re Marvel… (*insert oh-that-was-funny-because-Marvel-would-totally-do-that-to-us laugh*)

    • Emory October 24, 2013 at 9:47 pm #

      I agree. I like the idea of Nat and Cap just being besties.
      And ah yes, I shall insert that laugh here,
      MWAHHahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHhahahaha

      • Wasp October 30, 2013 at 1:13 pm #

        Thanks. You’re the best (;

  3. HBubbles October 24, 2013 at 10:01 pm #

    How do I accurately express my sincere and unadulterated adoration of you and your writing skills and your… Everything. Moreover, how do I do so continuously and without losing the true depth of it? Let’s just assume it for every post from here on out. I’ll try to refrain from constantly blathering adoration at you.

    All that to say I have again been waiting for this breakdown and am completely with you. I’m a hard Clintasha shipper, but I know Clint’s story and that he ends up with Mockingbird, never Natasha, so I’m clinging to my hardcore love of the Cap/Widow ship too. So looking forward the majestic and sassy Falcon in all his black glory. Also fully expecting to have my morals questioned by deep “government vs man” debates and blurred lines. Heart will be ripped out and burned by Bucky and Steve’s scenes. Chances are I’ll watch Captain America again this weekend and bawl my eyes out preemptively. Yay.
    …stupid Marvel.
    Is this how time works for you normal people? All boring and in the right order? I HATE WAITING.

    • Emory October 25, 2013 at 9:09 am #

      Okay, well first, you are so good to me, thank you so much, your comments consistently make me want to give you a massive hug. Okay. NEXT
      I do love Hawkeye’s and Mockingbird’s relationship, and it would be fabulous if she showed up in the cinematic universe! Until it’s certain that she will though, like you, I’m inclined to raise the Clintasha banner. But I have to say I was feeling some Cap/Widow feelings during this trailer. My poor little shipper heart is getting confused. And BUCKYYY ohmanIdon’tneedthiskindofpaininmylife.
      It’s interesting how they seem to be setting up the Civil War storyline, or at least some semblance of it, what with Cap vs. SHIELD. I must admit I was on Captain America’s side in the Civil War, but I still hated the whole taking sides issue, and basically, I just want to know why Marvel has it out for my emotions. What have they ever done to them?!

      • HBubbles October 29, 2013 at 1:05 pm #

        Yay for massive hugs. 😉
        It would! Do you think that they’d bring in Mb? My shipper heart can’t honestly ship very hard right now, it’s so stretched.
        Oh good gosh. Do you think it’s possible they’re going to try that? I wouldn’t be able to survive it. The whole government/man thing, where each side has right and wrong points, and neither is quite perfect but you love people on either side and… gah. Can’t even function.

  4. Merrilee G Lewis October 25, 2013 at 9:27 am #

    Love the barbershop quartet quote ❤ Looking forward to this – my favorite super hero ❤

    • Emory October 25, 2013 at 9:54 am #

      You have the most excellent taste, my dear! ❤

  5. Rose Tookes October 25, 2013 at 9:42 am #

    This is the only thing that’s helping me handle this trailer right now!!

    • Emory October 25, 2013 at 9:54 am #

      Awww, I’m so pleased! 😀

  6. marisatallu October 26, 2013 at 8:41 am #

    Oh my God, this was HILARIOUS and spot on. A+, Emory. Four for you, Emory. You go, Emory.

    • Emory October 26, 2013 at 9:13 am #

      An A+ AND a Mean Girls reference? I feel so honored! Thank you, love! 🙂

  7. Emily C. October 26, 2013 at 1:55 pm #

    Awesome breakdown. Again. As usual. “I can’t really be angry about the long wait, what with my emotionally overwhelming November movie schedule and all.” And December. And January. 🙂 😛 🙂 But… yeah…. where /was/ Hawkeye”?
    And……… Sebastian Stan!!!!!!!! 😀

    • Emory October 28, 2013 at 3:02 pm #

      Sebaastiaann Staaaann
      That man is a wonderful addition to humanity. 🙂 And thank you so very much, dear Emily!

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