Trailer Breakdown for Maleficent

13 Nov

Hello, fanpeople, and welcome to yet another trailer breakdown.

The official teaser trailer for Maleficent came out this morning, and, wouldn’t you know it, it just felt right to aggressively push my disconnected ramblings about it onto the internet. Because reasons. I’m interested in everyone’s thoughts on this movie, so, if you feel so inclined, let me know about your disconnected ramblings too.

Shall we begin?


Mmm, no, that is not the Disney castle, friend. Good try, though.

Almost looks like Aurora Borealis. Sleeping Beauty must love it here.

:: Makes expectant face for duration of awkward silence ::

Do you get it?Because Sleeping Beauty’s name is Aurora and it’s not really a pun, but it is almost one you know what nevermind

It’s pretty. That’s all. I should probably go to the next scene.


[fairy flutters by]

[because everyone knows that even if you’re not interested in a story about Maleficent, you’re totally interested in fairies]

(Tour guide voice) … and to your left, you can feel the sweet, pretty whimsy of the landscape plummeting abruptly!

Aurora voiceover:

“I know who you are.mal_5

You’ve been watching over me my whole life.

Oh, charming. Nothing should instill as much trust as does a grown adult lurking in the background of your past, am I right? mal_7

Need dramatic impact? Try a bird call. Nothing works quite so fast, besides the odd explosion or two. But for the record, I am pretty excited about that bird.

You are not Merida, and those are not Will O’ the Wisps. Stop that nonsense.mal_9

Is that a mermaid fairy?

I know you’re there.



Your shadow has been following me ever since I was small.mal_12

The shadow with devil horns? That one? Yes, I agree. You should totally seek out the owner of that shadow and have tea with it. That just makes good, logical sense.mal_13

In fact, why don’t you just go touch that sharp object?mal_14


Don’t be afraid!mal_16

Now, I’m not sixteen anymore, so maybe I’m no longer in the loop, but do sixteen-year-olds keep rocking horses around their bedrooms? Just for kicks and giggles? Nostalgia? So hard to keep up with the kids these days.mal_17

By the way, Aurora, if something even slightly resembling this is hiding from you, it’s probably not hiding because it is afraid.

“I am not afraid.”

“Then come out.”mal_20

“Then you’ll be afraid.”mal_21

Oh, look, thought Aurora, a red flag. That’s totally the first one so far. mal_22

Because up until this moment, she seemed a perfectly benevolent person.mal_23

  • Terrifying
  • Infinitely more terrifying if you’ve read Kingdom Keepers: Disney after Dark by Ridley Pearson
  • I really enjoyed that book by the way. Would recommend.


Sorry, back to you, Maleficent. We all know how you get when you’re ignored.mal_25

(Tour guide voice) Straight ahead, Maleficent proceeds to illustrate my point with a rather overdramatic reaction to not being invited to a party, but hey – mal_26

 – go big or go home, right?

There have been movies that I wanted to see from someone else’s point of view, and I must admit, Sleeping Beauty was not among them; at least, it wasn’t among my originals. But I have to say, this movie is looking pretty dang fabulous to me so far.

And I get the feeling that Maleficent will murder me if I don’t, so hey, win-win.mal_29Oh, and 3D, thank heavens.

12 Responses to “Trailer Breakdown for Maleficent”

  1. HBubbles November 13, 2013 at 12:53 pm #

    Do I have to sell my soul to Ange– I mean, Maleficent to get one? I hope not. But I suppose I do, because this does look pretty flipping awesome. *hunkers down to count piggy bank monies*

    • Emory November 13, 2013 at 12:58 pm #

      I think it costs about as much as one sixteen-year-old grudge. But it could also just be like buying a sea monkey (plus shipping), so like ten dollah. Order one for me too, would you love?

      • HBubbles November 14, 2013 at 11:52 am #

        Sea monkeys are more like ten-year disgruntlement. But similar enough, right? Ordering now.

  2. Merrilee Lewis November 13, 2013 at 1:22 pm #


  3. Kire November 13, 2013 at 2:45 pm #

    You are so fabulous. And shouldn’t mermaid fairies be in the WATER?! But hey. I’m not complaining…

    • Emory November 13, 2013 at 5:24 pm #

      Mermaid fairies are insulted that you would confine them to the water. Mermaid fairies do what they want.

      • Kire November 14, 2013 at 8:42 am #

        *hangs head* Sorry mermaid fairies…

      • Emory November 18, 2013 at 11:42 am #

        The mermaid fairies are benevolent spirits and they forgive you.

      • Kire November 18, 2013 at 1:25 pm #


  4. Wasp November 14, 2013 at 11:43 am #

    I like this. I approve. I like the cheekbones, mostly (:

    • Emory November 18, 2013 at 11:42 am #

      A good, quality thing to like. 🙂


  1. Trailer Breakdown for Cinderella | Freak of Fandom - November 19, 2014

    […] even being facetious right now, I honest-to-goodness thought I was watching the Maleficent trailer […]

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