*To Be Read in River Song’s Voice*

22 Nov


Long before the word “spoilers” conjured up a mental image of one of my favorite time-traveling companions, it meant what is has always meant – foreknowledge of a subject that, as indicated, spoils it.

I’ve had far too much experience with this particular delight.

A lot of it was my fault, like the time I begged my sister to tell me why she was so depressed at the end of Mockingjay, or when I knowingly watched “Turn Left” from series four of Doctor Who before I even started season three.

Of course, spoiling has also just been due to unfortunate happenstances, such as when my sister and I tripped over some Doctor Who series seven plot points the day of the season premiere, and that one time when I accidentally did anything on the internet before reading The Fault in our Stars.


I still haven’t gotten around to reading that book, but, somehow, I can quote it for days.

All this to say, I don’t usually do enough to stay away from spoilers, what with the internet existing, and my priorities being all out of order. But a problem has arisen that requires me to play a little game I like to call “The Internet is Lava.”

If you had a childhood, you can probably guess how this game is played. Just for reference, it’s just ever so slightly less enticing than its eponymous schoolyard counterpart.

In any case, the problem that made this game necessary is as follows: I’m going to miss the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary episode. Now it’s not quite as bad as all that, I am still seeing it, as a theater in my town has graciously made it possible for me to see it three days later on Monday night.

I will be dressing up as Eleven and attending with my gorgeous friends Wasp and Invisible Woman, and my lovely [and tenaciously patient] mother. You could say I’m kind of excited.

I’m stupid excited.

But the fact remains that that is three days after every other fanboy and girl with BBC or BBCAmerica has seen it, reviewed it, gif-ed it, story-boarded it, and fanfic-ed it.

And for me, the internet, until that third day, will be a yawning pit of seductively available foreknowledge.

Dangerous thing, foreknowledge.

So between Saturday and Tuesday, I’m going radio silent as far as internet is concerned.

And when I get back, if the past is any indicator, you’ll know me from the all-caps declaration of how many times I died during the episode.

What about you all? Are viewing parties in the works, or is anyone else planning to play the internet is lava with me?

18 Responses to “*To Be Read in River Song’s Voice*”

  1. HBubbles November 22, 2013 at 12:24 pm #

    I’m hoping to see it on TV as it airs and then again in theaters, if all things work out. But I for one promise not to spoil it for you, and if Saturday’s plans fall through, I will likewise go silent with you. Here’s to the fantastic, brilliant, great, beautiful thing that is coming so soon. *hugs*
    .(would it help if I went Pinterest silent for those few days? I know you’re following other Whovians, but if it helps I’m willing).

    • Emory November 22, 2013 at 3:09 pm #

      Awww, you darling, you don’t have to do that! I think it would be good of me to take a couple days off of pinterest in any case, so do whatever your wonderful heart desires! And thank you so much for the offer! *hugs back*
      I hope [I KNOW] you will enjoy the show! 😀

  2. secondchanced November 22, 2013 at 5:41 pm #

    Aww, that stinks!! D: I promise not to pin or spoil anything for you. =)
    I’ll be watching it the moment it airs on my tv, with my brother–and sadly, I don’t have any Whovian friends who can come over, but I will be making a soufflé (which I recently discovered I am pretty good at making) and some jammie dodgers in honor of the occasion, and I talked my mom into letting us eat fish fingers for lunch. 😀
    I would like to see it in theaters, but unfortunately tickets are a bit steep (as to be expected), and my parents already took me to see Thor 2 on the 7th, so….not happening. 😛

    • Emory November 24, 2013 at 5:58 pm #

      Hey, sounds like you had a marvelous time! And yeah, I agree, ticket prices are dumb. But we can console ourselves with fandom-appropriate food, so that’s cool. 🙂 Speaking of which,
      so, um, do you live in oregon? Because I feel like you should visit me. And, I don’t know, make me a souffle. In return, I can offer you lots of hugs and strawberry lemonade.

  3. Invisible Woman November 22, 2013 at 9:47 pm #

    Shall we begin?

    • Emory November 24, 2013 at 3:03 pm #


  4. Sara November 23, 2013 at 5:30 pm #

    Oh yes, the internet will be fraught with danger for the next three days. I even “unliked” the Doctor Who Facebook page (I know, but desperate times…). But come Monday night Whovians all over the world will unite! So beware Tuesday morning when we are set loose upon the internet world once again!
    Oh, and I’m going as the Ninth Doctor…kinda the easiest costume. 🙂

    • Emory November 24, 2013 at 3:03 pm #

      Oh, so cool! I love how low-maintenance but also effective the ninth Doctor cosply is. 🙂 I just already have Eleven’s screwdriver, so I figured, why not go all the way here?
      And yeah man, Tuesday morning internet is going be entirely submerged in the wailings of Whovians.
      Mwahahaha! I’m excited!

  5. Emily C. November 23, 2013 at 8:10 pm #

    Awww…. I know the feeling. Counting on seeing excited caps lock soon, though… 🙂 ;D I wore a make-shift bow tie to work today, but jealous of those doing little ‘viewing parties’ with the appropriate food, even though I was lucky enough to have a friend with cable watched it with, since -can’t- go to the theater like the cool people. Doctors!!!!!!!!! Ten/Eleven being adorable! And Sherlock teaser/new blog entry from John on the same day!!!1!!1 Look forward to thoughts!

    • Emory November 24, 2013 at 3:00 pm #

      I KNOW Ten/Eleven were so cute in that latest trailer! I watched it for the first time in a public place and that was a REALLY bad idea. There was a fair amount of flailing….
      but since this is getting to you after you’ve seen the episode, DID YOU JUST LOVE IT OR WHAT

      • Emily C. November 25, 2013 at 12:30 am #

        YES! ;D *hehs and ruffles*
        Awww. And they got even cuter! 😀 And (the rightful) deep felt depth of the history, with newer favorites and changing the future again. Loved it.
        (the new Sherlock mini treats were just overload icing on the cake) 😀

      • Emily C. November 25, 2013 at 11:28 am #

        So many questions, though…. ;D ;PP From the ep, and the Sherlock goodies….. (did you see?) Sigh…. those writers…… ❤ ❤
        (and I love your new banner!) ;D

      • Emory November 25, 2013 at 1:04 pm #

        Dude, I just NOW saw the Sherlock goodies! I’m so happy the mass text effect is back! D’awwwiloveitsomuch!
        (And many thanks for the nice words about my new banner, darling!)

      • Emily C. November 26, 2013 at 11:02 am #

        I KNOW! B… b…. butt…. what is Anderson doing?!?!?!?! A… and John’s blog!!! ;_; And all the Doctors!!!!!!

  6. Kire November 24, 2013 at 9:37 am #

    I have nearly retired from Pinterest all together in an attempt not to see spoilers…. Which is terrible… It means I may have to start socializing…. O.o

    • Emory November 24, 2013 at 2:56 pm #

      what EW
      Now, let’s not get crazy, Kire.

      • Kire November 26, 2013 at 8:17 am #

        Too late! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!

      • Emory November 26, 2013 at 10:04 am #


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