Barely-Even-A-Trailer Breakdown for Mockingjay Part I

2 Jul

On the one hand, I could spend time lamenting how much I’ve neglected my blog and how many trailers and notable events in the geek community that I’ve missed. Or, on the other hand, I could simply start making up for lost time.

Well, I’ve always been a sucker for a late grade.

Last week, the Hunger Games movie franchise advertised its intentions to break our hearts and make us pay money for it by releasing the first teaser for Mockingjay Part 1. Part 1, you ask? They’re making us pay twice as much money and a full year in between to break our hearts?

Yes, I answer. Pay attention.

mckj_1

Coming at you live from the studios that have been solely responsible for the trauma and murder of seventy-five generations!

*applause from audience being threatened with machine guns*mckj_2

“Since the dark days, our great nation has known only peace.”

*person in audience coughs and is immediately shot in the head*
mckj_3

“Ours is an elegant system: conceived to nourish and protect.”

Why don’t I feel like this is a movie trailer? I know it’s just a teaser, but it sure feels like a commercial for something else.

And why do I suddenly want to buy an iPhone 5s?mckj_4

Of course. It looks so much better now.mckj_5

Oh wow. This feels more like an apple commercial than apple commercials do. Good to know not everything changes when your country converts to a child-killing government to keep the peace.mckj_6

“The districts are the body. The Capitol is the beating heart.”

Fun fact: No one came to Snow’s poetry readings as a young twenty-something, and that’s why he’s so bitter.mckj_7

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.mckj_8

“Your hard work feeds us, and in return, we feed and protect you.”

I can think of a couple of districts that aren’t feeling that feed part as well as you think they might.

mckj_9

It takes a big man to sacrifice the lives of others’ children. Panem is so lucky.
mckj_10

Peeta what have they done to you

You look so clean

“But if you resist the system, you starve yourself. If you fight against it, it is you who will bleed. I know you will stand with me, with us, with all of us, together, as one. And then, you too can wear a snappy white jacket.

mckj_11

“Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever.”

Ain't it Fun -- Paramore

Fun fact: I hide behind pop culture references to hide my deep pain.

mckj_12Mockingjay, Part 1.

And additionally, much like an iPhone, the next one will come out a year after this one, and it will crush the dreams of millions!

(It’s possible that I have a knowledge gap where apple products are concerned. Yes? No?)

See you in November, tributes.

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6 Responses to “Barely-Even-A-Trailer Breakdown for Mockingjay Part I”

  1. Merrilee G Lewis July 2, 2014 at 2:48 pm #

    Yay – good to see you back 🙂

  2. Wasp July 4, 2014 at 12:28 pm #

    Oh, gorgeous, how I’ve missed you (: Lovely piece you have there. And seriously… can’t wait.

    • Emory July 9, 2014 at 12:50 pm #

      Thank you and I KNOW RIGHT

  3. Kire July 5, 2014 at 5:04 pm #

    I haven’t read/seen The Hunger Games series, but you never fail to make me smile at heartbreaking things. Thanks a million. 🙂

    • Emory July 9, 2014 at 12:51 pm #

      Haha, the heartbreaking things are the ones that need to be smiled at most. Thanks love!

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