Trailer Breakdown for Avengers: Age of Ultron

23 Oct

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to your dreams.

The official trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron swept the internet off its feet last night, and it’s been trending everywhere since. I may have watched it one or two or fourteen times myself. However, if you have managed to not be run over by a screaming fanboy or fangirl trying to get you to watch the trailer with them, then click that link, for now is the time. 

And what a time to be alive, my friend.


“I’m gonna show you something beautiful.

Oh I know

“Everyone screaming.

Oh nvmaou_3

note: Quicksilver’s hair is dark. Something in this movie turns it white. carry on.aou_4

“For mercy.aou_5

The Captain has joined the trailer, ready to sock ol’ Hitler Ultron on the jaw.

“You want to protect the world,

Hawkeye, I’ve missed you gracing our screens with strangely angelic shots.aou_7

Thor, baby, on the bright side, no one in your family is even indirectly at fault this time.

“But you don’t want it to change.aou_9

(Visibly uncomfortable with the word “change”)aou_10

“You’re all puppets –


Breaking news: Thor is wearing normal clothes. It’s a good day. That is all. (I appreciate that he took a page out of Captain Hook’s book, entitled Wait I’ve Been Wearing This Outfit for Upwards of a Hundred Years)

Now is a good time to point out that in every shot Hawkeye appears in in this trailer, his face could be saying, “What did I miss?”aou_13

“Tangled in strings.aou_15

Remember when we thought the Winter Soldier and Loki were the best villains the MCU were going to conceive?


Such sweet, summer children.


*Nightmare version of “No Strings” from Pinocchio starts to play*

It’s okay, I was never able to watch Pinocchio without being mildly terrified anyway.


Honey, is that another new suit? How many tailors are you wearing out?

Do you get it? aou_22

Wearing out.

It’s a clothing pun.aou_25

Bruce, I have not seen you in a shot yet that didn’t make me want to bundle you up and feed you a warm meal. Please stop this. You’re breaking me.

And Natasha, it’s okay. They’ll give you your own movie someday. aou_27

Whooaaa, whoa whoa, the twins and Ultron? Is Ultron to the Maximoffs as Magneto was to the Maximoffs in their first comics appearance?

(By the way, I mean in the sense of the Maximoffs being his indentured servants, not of them being his illegitimate children)aou_28

(But on that topic, if Pietro or Wanda gave daddy dearest a call, he could clean this mess up real quick. That’s a lot of metal.)aou_29aou_30

They’re like bugs. Like ants. Like ant-men.

Nah, that’s silly.

See? Look at Clint’s face. LOOK AT IT.

“What did I miss?”aou_32

What a glorious, glorious month.aou_33

“It’s the end.aou_34

“The end of the path I started us on.”

Ehhh, don’t flatter yourself. It was mostly Loki and Captain America.aou_35

And this guy, of course. By the way, don’t bother wondering about how you saw him burn that eye patch in favor of sunglasses in CA: The Winter Soldier.

“Nothing lasts forever.”

You’re right. He probably sat on those sunglasses. We’ve all been there, Fury.aou_37

Hey, look, it’s the classic Scarlet-Witch-is-going-bonkers pose!aou_38

Hey look, it’s me watching this trailer for the first time!aou_39

Wait. I saw concept art for this scene.

Oh my gosh yes it’s coming Hulkbuster yes




*On her way to get her own movie*aou_45

My only hope for this character is that they make him nearly as cool as Fox’s Quicksilver. That’s all I hope for anyone, really.

But for serious, I am so excited to see these two in action. They’re perfect.aou_47

This is a mighty meaningful and important stare for a character who was listed on imdb as a nameless “Asguardian god.” Speculation, please.


Are these uncomfortably chest-heavy shots of Thor going to be a regular thing in Marvel movies now? Is this like a subtle satire of how women have been treated in every superhero movie ever, or is it just fanservice?

I mean, I’m not complaining. Just confused.aou_50

*Nightmare Pinocchio music stops, replaced with nightmare Tarzan music*

♪I wanna know/Can you show me/I wanna know about these strangers like me/♬

Okay, back to nightmare realm Pinocchio.aou_51

Straight ahead, you’ll see our subtle reminder that this takes place in Russia.

If you look within your memories, you’ll remember that a certain wintery soldier was in Russia for quite some time between now and 1945.

If you search your heart for a strong sense of hope, you may see what I’m getting at.



Aw man, it’ll be good to have this champ in a movie again. Been too long.

“No, mother doth NOT know I weareth her drapes,aou_55


I know, right, Natasha? I cried.aou_57







Brofist, buddy. Bring it in.aou_61

That was the last vibranium on the planet, Steve, please be more carefulaou_62

“There are no strings on me.”aou_63

I have waited three years.


17 Responses to “Trailer Breakdown for Avengers: Age of Ultron”

  1. Cam October 23, 2014 at 11:23 am #

    Oh my gosh I can’t wait!!!!!

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 11:26 am #

      Aaaa, me neither!

  2. narniahannah October 23, 2014 at 1:31 pm #

    Your trailer breakdowns are seriously the best thing ever. I’m not sure whether I’m more looking forward to new trailers, or your posts. ;D

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 1:39 pm #

      *blushes for days*
      Thank you so much, you are the nicest! 🙂

    • Emily C. October 26, 2014 at 8:17 pm #

      I second this! As soon as I checked her blog again, I was all ‘…Ooh! Breakdown!!’
      Seriously, you make the best comments. Spot on for Clint and Bruce. I went all melty-face every time I saw him too, and by the time I got to the third ‘WhatdidImiss’, I was giggling so hard.

      • Emory October 27, 2014 at 10:55 am #

        D’awww, you’re too good to me. 🙂 (And Clint’s and Bruce’s faces are too good to all of us)

      • Emily C. October 27, 2014 at 8:48 pm #

        Now I can’t un-see it whenever I look at him! 😀

  3. beechat October 23, 2014 at 3:24 pm #

    Sooooooooo I may have been waiting for this breakdown since I heard that this was going to be a movie. Which was relatively recently… I fail at being a fangirl sometimes…

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 9:13 pm #

      Aww, honey! Hahaha, the good thing about being a fangirl is that you are in no way obligated to fangirl about everything all the time! 😀

  4. Kire October 23, 2014 at 6:05 pm #

    *prepares for Age of Ultron feels and Civil War feels* SO GOOD! And I seriously died at your dialogue. Oh. My. Word. It’s all just too perfect!

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 9:14 pm #

      And thanks so much darling! Aaaaaa it’s gonna be glorious!

  5. Wasp October 23, 2014 at 6:26 pm #


    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 9:14 pm #


  6. Wasp October 23, 2014 at 6:31 pm #

    I cried. I laughed for a really long time at “Mother doth NOT know I weareth her drapes” etc.
    I will never see Pinocchio the same way again.

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 9:15 pm #

      Seriously. Pinocchio is a thing of darkness now.

  7. Jennifer Hilty December 9, 2014 at 10:02 am #


    I love you Hawkeye, so glad you’re coming back to us.

    • Emory December 9, 2014 at 10:04 am #

      Ugh yes, standing ovation for that man!

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