Trailer Breakdown for Avengers: Age of Ultron

23 Oct

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to your dreams.

The official trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron swept the internet off its feet last night, and it’s been trending everywhere since. I may have watched it one or two or fourteen times myself. However, if you have managed to not be run over by a screaming fanboy or fangirl trying to get you to watch the trailer with them, then click that link, for now is the time. 

And what a time to be alive, my friend.

aou_1

“I’m gonna show you something beautiful.

Oh I know
aou_2

“Everyone screaming.

Oh nvmaou_3

note: Quicksilver’s hair is dark. Something in this movie turns it white. carry on.aou_4

“For mercy.aou_5

The Captain has joined the trailer, ready to sock ol’ Hitler Ultron on the jaw.
aou_6

“You want to protect the world,

Hawkeye, I’ve missed you gracing our screens with strangely angelic shots.aou_7

Thor, baby, on the bright side, no one in your family is even indirectly at fault this time.
aou_8

“But you don’t want it to change.aou_9

(Visibly uncomfortable with the word “change”)aou_10

“You’re all puppets –

whoa
aou_11

Breaking news: Thor is wearing normal clothes. It’s a good day. That is all. (I appreciate that he took a page out of Captain Hook’s book, entitled Wait I’ve Been Wearing This Outfit for Upwards of a Hundred Years)
aou_12

Now is a good time to point out that in every shot Hawkeye appears in in this trailer, his face could be saying, “What did I miss?”aou_13

“Tangled in strings.aou_15

Remember when we thought the Winter Soldier and Loki were the best villains the MCU were going to conceive?
aou_16

“Strings.”

Such sweet, summer children.

aou_17

*Nightmare version of “No Strings” from Pinocchio starts to play*

It’s okay, I was never able to watch Pinocchio without being mildly terrified anyway.

aou_18aou_20

Honey, is that another new suit? How many tailors are you wearing out?
aou_21

Do you get it? aou_22

Wearing out.
aou_24

It’s a clothing pun.aou_25

Bruce, I have not seen you in a shot yet that didn’t make me want to bundle you up and feed you a warm meal. Please stop this. You’re breaking me.
aou_26

And Natasha, it’s okay. They’ll give you your own movie someday. aou_27

Whooaaa, whoa whoa, the twins and Ultron? Is Ultron to the Maximoffs as Magneto was to the Maximoffs in their first comics appearance?

(By the way, I mean in the sense of the Maximoffs being his indentured servants, not of them being his illegitimate children)aou_28

(But on that topic, if Pietro or Wanda gave daddy dearest a call, he could clean this mess up real quick. That’s a lot of metal.)aou_29aou_30

They’re like bugs. Like ants. Like ant-men.

Nah, that’s silly.
aou_31

See? Look at Clint’s face. LOOK AT IT.

“What did I miss?”aou_32

What a glorious, glorious month.aou_33

“It’s the end.aou_34

“The end of the path I started us on.”

Ehhh, don’t flatter yourself. It was mostly Loki and Captain America.aou_35

And this guy, of course. By the way, don’t bother wondering about how you saw him burn that eye patch in favor of sunglasses in CA: The Winter Soldier.
aou_36

“Nothing lasts forever.”

You’re right. He probably sat on those sunglasses. We’ve all been there, Fury.aou_37

Hey, look, it’s the classic Scarlet-Witch-is-going-bonkers pose!aou_38

Hey look, it’s me watching this trailer for the first time!aou_39

Wait. I saw concept art for this scene.
aou_40

Oh my gosh yes it’s coming Hulkbuster yes
aou_41

guhaou_42

GUHaou_43

GAHaou_44

*On her way to get her own movie*aou_45

My only hope for this character is that they make him nearly as cool as Fox’s Quicksilver. That’s all I hope for anyone, really.
aou_46

But for serious, I am so excited to see these two in action. They’re perfect.aou_47

This is a mighty meaningful and important stare for a character who was listed on imdb as a nameless “Asguardian god.” Speculation, please.

aou_49

Are these uncomfortably chest-heavy shots of Thor going to be a regular thing in Marvel movies now? Is this like a subtle satire of how women have been treated in every superhero movie ever, or is it just fanservice?

I mean, I’m not complaining. Just confused.aou_50

*Nightmare Pinocchio music stops, replaced with nightmare Tarzan music*

♪I wanna know/Can you show me/I wanna know about these strangers like me/♬

Okay, back to nightmare realm Pinocchio.aou_51

Straight ahead, you’ll see our subtle reminder that this takes place in Russia.

If you look within your memories, you’ll remember that a certain wintery soldier was in Russia for quite some time between now and 1945.

If you search your heart for a strong sense of hope, you may see what I’m getting at.

aou_53

#WhatdidImiss

Aw man, it’ll be good to have this champ in a movie again. Been too long.
aou_54

“No, mother doth NOT know I weareth her drapes,aou_55

“BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD”aou_56

I know, right, Natasha? I cried.aou_57

“Now

AAAAAaou_58

“I’m

AAAAAAAaou_59

“Free.

AAAAAAAAAAAAaou_60

Brofist, buddy. Bring it in.aou_61

That was the last vibranium on the planet, Steve, please be more carefulaou_62

“There are no strings on me.”aou_63

I have waited three years.

I am READY.
aou_64BRING IT BUDDY.

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17 Responses to “Trailer Breakdown for Avengers: Age of Ultron”

  1. Cam October 23, 2014 at 11:23 am #

    Oh my gosh I can’t wait!!!!!

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 11:26 am #

      Aaaa, me neither!

  2. narniahannah October 23, 2014 at 1:31 pm #

    Your trailer breakdowns are seriously the best thing ever. I’m not sure whether I’m more looking forward to new trailers, or your posts. ;D

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 1:39 pm #

      *blushes for days*
      Thank you so much, you are the nicest! 🙂

    • Emily C. October 26, 2014 at 8:17 pm #

      I second this! As soon as I checked her blog again, I was all ‘…Ooh! Breakdown!!’
      Seriously, you make the best comments. Spot on for Clint and Bruce. I went all melty-face every time I saw him too, and by the time I got to the third ‘WhatdidImiss’, I was giggling so hard.

      • Emory October 27, 2014 at 10:55 am #

        D’awww, you’re too good to me. 🙂 (And Clint’s and Bruce’s faces are too good to all of us)

      • Emily C. October 27, 2014 at 8:48 pm #

        Now I can’t un-see it whenever I look at him! 😀

  3. beechat October 23, 2014 at 3:24 pm #

    Sooooooooo I may have been waiting for this breakdown since I heard that this was going to be a movie. Which was relatively recently… I fail at being a fangirl sometimes…

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 9:13 pm #

      Aww, honey! Hahaha, the good thing about being a fangirl is that you are in no way obligated to fangirl about everything all the time! 😀

  4. Kire October 23, 2014 at 6:05 pm #

    *prepares for Age of Ultron feels and Civil War feels* SO GOOD! And I seriously died at your dialogue. Oh. My. Word. It’s all just too perfect!

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 9:14 pm #

      GAHHH YESSS TOO MANY FEELSS
      And thanks so much darling! Aaaaaa it’s gonna be glorious!

  5. Wasp October 23, 2014 at 6:26 pm #

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA……..

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 9:14 pm #

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  6. Wasp October 23, 2014 at 6:31 pm #

    ……AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA okay I’m done.
    BUT SERIOUSLY.
    SO DANG EXCITE. ED. ExcitED.
    I cried. I laughed for a really long time at “Mother doth NOT know I weareth her drapes” etc.
    I will never see Pinocchio the same way again.

    • Emory October 23, 2014 at 9:15 pm #

      RIGHT SO MUCH DANG EXCITE OVAH HERE
      Seriously. Pinocchio is a thing of darkness now.

  7. Jennifer Hilty December 9, 2014 at 10:02 am #

    #WHATDIDIMISS

    I love you Hawkeye, so glad you’re coming back to us.

    • Emory December 9, 2014 at 10:04 am #

      Ugh yes, standing ovation for that man!

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