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Construction Zone

27 Jan

Happy Friday!

This is not a typical post, and if you are reading it on the site, then you can see why it’s not typical when you take a look around. Let me summarize what you’re looking at: This blog is a construction zone. I’m changing the title and URL, re-designing the look, and updating old pages. Why am I doing this? Allow me to answer that question with a question –

Have you ever said the name “Freak of Fandom” out loud?

I love my sixteen-year-old self, but she’s never allowed to name anything for me ever again.

Let’s do a brief, self-guided Q&A before the URL change officially takes place.

Why are you changing the name to “Just Blank to be Here?”

I talk about fandom a lot, but it’s not all I talk about – it never has been. It’s an odd feeling to publish a personal post or write a devotional on my own site and feel like it doesn’t belong there. There have been a number of serious posts I left in the drafts because I felt like it was a lie to publish them under the brightly-colored banner of Fandom. A more detailed explanation of the new name will be on my updated “about” page.

What else will change?

The post type will be pretty much the same – it’s still me, after all. However, I will feel less embarrassed when people bring up this mess of an online diary and I might start saying my blog title out loud again. There will also be actual updates. !

Anything I should do?

Weird question, self, but I have an answer for you. Because of the URL change from freakoffandom[dot]wordpress.com to justblanktobehere[dot]wordpress.com, it is possible that some followers may find their subscription has been interrupted. If you want to continue reading my posts, unfollow me and then follow me again on the new site. If you do not want to continue reading my posts, then this is a great time to not do anything at all and simply unfollow me through lack of activity! That way, if it ever comes up when we’re talking, you can say you didn’t see this post.

(for once, I’m not being facetious; this is actually a really good game plan for those of you who need fewer emails but don’t necessarily want to hit the unfollow button on my site. I gotchu)

Thanks for reading! Your regularly scheduled programming will return shortly. Have a super cool day, kiddos.

Career Quiz for the Fictionally Inclined

20 Jan

Look.

Finding a job that suits you is hard.

And by the way, I would know, because this is how I’ve introduced every one of these posts since I made my first one in the Year of our Lord 2012. And as ever, I have got you covered, my friend. Introducing the be-all-end-all of aptitude tests, The Career Quiz for the Fictionally Inclined. 

This cheaply-but-lovingly-made quiz features all your favorite jobs that you wished you could have. Click through to reach the page and don’t forget to comment to let me know what you got.

Go. Live your dream.

 

11.5 Things Only Homo Sapiens Will Understand

13 Jan

Living that literally standard life ❤

1. When you wake up in the morning and as a direct result you’re not asleep anymore.

It’s like, really? Didn’t I do this yesterday?

2. Fixing yourself a small breakfast because you don’t have a lot of time before you have to go to work but THEN you get hungry again and have to fix yourself a light snack before lunchtime.

Like a boss!

3. “Enjoy your movie!” “You too!” 

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No one else knows what it’s like to be this awkward! This is an experience unique to you!! Non-human entities just don’t get it!!!

4. Sometimes, when you hang out with people for a really long time, you get tired.

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Like, excuse me, super nerd over here. Can everyone leave me alone with my netflix? We can’t all be extroverdes :/

5. …But when you spend a lot of time alone, you want to see one or two people you care about and have a conversation with them.

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You’re not some boring introvertebrae. You need people around you to remind you you’re people too!

6. You’ve enjoyed a cartoon as an adult.

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Looks like your inner child is alive and well! South Park here I coma;jdslf

7. You know you were a fetus for at least seven months but you don’t even remember it!

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Ugh, always forgetting stuff. We’ll just call you space cadet!

8. When you’re out in the sun, you are like, dying for a coke.

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Where’s the waiter? Bring me a tall glass of anything cold!

9. Hobbies? Yeah, you have one!

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Guilty as charged!

10. A face? You have one of those too!

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Maybe she’s born with it?

11. Literally just come into my house and kick me in the head, my front door’s wide open, I’m begging you

 

11.5. You’re not sure exactly when art turned into entertainment or when entertainment turned into actual garbage, but you sure know a dumpster when you see one!

Don’t forget to like, comment, throw your computer or mobile device through a portal to another, better world, and rate this article on a scale of Epic Fail (LOL) to #YASSSqueenSLAY

Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined Part 5

17 Aug

Welcome to the long-coming fifth installment of Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined (Parts 1, 2, 3, 4): Your source for when you want to start deciding where you fit in the world – just not quite enough to close Netflix in that other tab.

I’m here for you babe.

Let’s get started.

Director of SHIELD

Upside: Action, excitement, close proximity to Thor’s arms and a high probability of getting Captain America to sign your vintage box set of superhero cards.

Downside: What job security? Plus, your stance in the Civil War, which you’re so proud and certain of now, comes into play in a far more violent and emotional way when you have to tell the characters themselves who you’re siding with.

Scientist/Inventor

Upside: You’re incredibly intelligent, and you use that to make a difference. Your work does important things. Whether you go Flint Lockwood and make it rain food, or you go Reed Richards and teleport four people to another dimension while roaring drunk (geez, you cinematic moron, what’s wrong with you), you followed the calling that was laid out before you when you discovered you were a dark-haired nerd with one friend. Good for you!

Downside: You’ve let yourself in for a lot of angst, kid. You might lead your loving older brother to a burning science expo that gets him killed. You might create rat-birds. You might even create a whole new breed of dinosaurs. All your friends (one) are going to hate you for a little while, because wow, do you make bad decisions in the name of science.

Lawyer

Upside: You believe in the truth, and you fight for justice. You are determined to make sure the innocent live happily and that the guilty are found out for their true selves. You’re clever and have hidden talents that make you extremely adept at what you do. Is that talent your heightened senses and a built-in lie detector? Or is it your extensive knowledge of hair care and post-perm protocol? Either way, you rule.

Downside: It can be hard to make it in law. People expect you to be a lying cheat, or maybe they just don’t pay you any attention at all and you barely scrape by financially, forcing your partner to steal tea and bagels from next door and forcing you to be a nightmarish vigilante in your spare time. But hey, that’s not everybody.

Some people are Elle Woods.

Dragon Rider

Upside: Dragons. I shouldn’t need to say more than that, but I will. You get to form a bond with your reptilian companion, you play the part of a warrior, you get to meet interesting and often terrifying people, and you get to fly on the regular. Also? Dragon racing. It’s like dragon quidditch, and nothing has ever been cooler than that ever e v e r  e  v  e  r

Downside: Definitely a dangerous career. Dragons are fiercely protective, but not necessarily of you. Plus, warfare with other dragon riders is not something you want to get involved in.

Tourist Trap Manager (See also: Con man)

Upside: Your lifestyle is run by imagination. You want to charge people to get into your eccentric home? Glue an armadillo to a possum. Instant Ripley’s Believe it or Not. Put that money directly into my pocket, please. Plus, it’s the perfect cover if you’re working on something secretive in your basement. Suspicious types that could potentially pose a threat won’t bother you, and the naive people who do don’t know what to look for.

Downside: Are your lying and nefarious experiments worth the valuable relationships you could be poisoning? Are they really? Secrets don’t make friends. Your life and your choices makes me so upset, please, give me a minute here.

Raptor Trainer (Alpha Raptor)

Upside: Are you kidding me? Are you Kidding?? Me??? YOU HAVE RAPTOR CHILDREN WHO BEAT UP BAD GUYS WITH YOU ARE YOU KI DD I N G M E  ?  S I G N  M E  U P

Downside: Your raptor children want to eat you. And this ain’t no quick death by mosasaurus, my friend, you’re gonna feel every bite.

______________________________

There’s really no point in fooling around when it comes to a decision as big as a career. This is my fifth and final of these analyses now, so please, think it over, and let me know.

I just want the best for you. So don’t you freaking dare create rat-birds or I will hunt you down

I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU | One Nerdy Turn Deserves Another Volume 3

5 Mar

Dear Jennifer,

You knew this was coming didn’t you? So far, our birthday gif volleys have included anime, general BBC, Psych, Community, Avengers – But on this, your twenty-second birthday, there was only one choice.

Let me try again.

Happy birthday, Jen! There may be no legally-recognized benefits to turning twenty-two, but hey, at twenty-one you can drink, and at twenty-two, you can be, uh, (checking lyrics) happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time?? In any case, I hope this day’s all magical and no miserable (oh yeahhhhhh). Tonight’s the night you forget about the deadlines (but not really because you’re an adult and you have to work tomorrow); it’s time.

WHOA-OH

Jennifer, YOU’RE TWENTY-TWO.

How did this even happen? You unspeakably darling young woman you, you’re growing up so fast. What are you going to get yourself for your birthday?

By the way, I will still come over to your house if you get that cat you’ve been talking about. I’ll even only be miserable in secret. But for the sake of all the people in your life that are allergic to cats, you should totally look into getting one that’s allergen-free. If not, you know, just make the decision between the people you love and housing an animal that will shed on everything you love.

More to the point of your impending new era of life: I think you’ll rule at it.

It’s been enchanting to meet you/know you my whole life, and I’m beyond stoked for our future adventures. And while I’m more or less convinced there’s not a person alive you couldn’t charm, the world is full of people who aren’t that nice and will try to deflect their discouraging thoughts and negativity toward you.

However, time has taught me, you, and clearly Taylor Swift a valuable lesson we should never forget.

So keep doing you, because you are glorious. Your positive attitude and ambitious excitement is contagious and you can use it to fire people up, amass armies, and just get crap done. It might seem weird to others at first…

But they’ll end up loving you for it. Devote time to figuring out what you want, devote what you want to the Lord, devote yourself to making it happen, and you can’t lose.

Disclaimer: Even then, it’s sometimes going to feel like you have no idea what you’re doing.

But hey, guess what?

Keep waking up in the morning and using what you’ve learned to start over. Check in with yourself from time to time to make sure you’re still fighting for something that matters to you and not losing yourself in the process.

And never ever be too proud to give yourself a pep talk.

Of course, if you’re ever not up for doing it yourself, then I’m very much available to give you that pep talk instead.

And don’t forget the importance of precision of speech.

(Rosemary you’re a disgrace)

Anyway, it is your birthday – I know you’re proud of all that “running a half-marathon” and “staying healthy” trash you’ve been been doing lately,

(and fine, you totally should be proud) but I hope you still find it in your heart to murder some birthday cake today as well.

((I am equal parts very ashamed and incredibly proud of that wordplay by the way. I have zero regrets and there’s no way you can prove to me you’re not chortling at my pun right now, so I win. I hope you’re reading this on your phone in public and making faces whenever I try to be funny.))

Hey, enjoy your twenty-second year of life, would you? Play to win, cos you love the game.

Have a very happy birthday.

And I hope this song is stuck in your head at least until the end of the week. (You deserve it)

The Clock is Striking Twelve

26 Aug

I always warn you before spoilers, don’t I?

Well, if you haven’t seen Doctor Who season 8 episode 1, I have only one two things to say to you:

  1.  WHAT WHY NOT
  2.  Well, don’t come back until you do.

Last Saturday night, I sat in a dark room full of Whovians; the kind who get so excited that no one really cares that they’re slowly turning the back room of a Japanese novelty shop into a sauna.

It began with a girl dressed as a steampunk Dalek standing up to announce that the episode was beginning, and once it did, there would be no mercy on commentators. There was a murmur of assent from the viewers. The episode commenced. Not a peep was heard for over an hour, save the odd hushed “Awwww” or “ohmygoshohmygosh.”

It was glorious.

For many of you, I do not have to tell what happened in the episode.

Seeing it through strictly unfeeling eyes, it was the usual:

  • Doctor offends people
  • Clara stamps her foot
  • SUBTEXT SUBTEXT
  • Viewers are scared
  • Characters are scared and then die
  • Doctor voices some variant of “He/She/It was scared”
  • SUUUBTEEEXT
  • Hands are held
  • Hugs are had
  • Chips are consumed

But of course there was the one prominent difference:

The new Doctor.

This dork.

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Look at him

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Really look

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Let me explain: Eleven was my Doctor. Under such circumstances, I thought it was going to take more than a shouty “I’M NOT FLIRTING BY THE WAY” directed at a rampaging dinosaur to win me over.

The Doctor wears his new face well. And hey, as far as the rest of you go, I understand (in theory) if he hasn’t grown on you yet. But just

Look at him.

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No, I suppose that’s not what I mean. Don’t just look. The Doctor said it himself. See.

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That moment killed me. In fact, I am actually writing to you at this moment from the mysterious fountain garden on the other side.

I’ve wanted to hug a lot of fictional characters before, but this moment must have topped the list. So of course they had to stab at that particular ventricle of my heart.

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“I don’t think I’m a hugging person now.”

*Collective scoff from fandom*

But in any case, I didn’t come here to gush over the Twelfth Doctor.

While I did indeed come here to gush over the Twelfth Doctor, there are other Doctorial things to be addressed. Such as?

  • SKIN BALLOON wHAT 
  • How one little blow-torch droid set fire to an entire dinosaur
  • The frankly alarming number of space ships skipping around replacing machinery with human remains (I had no idea this was such an epidemic)
  • The umbrella woman in the weird afterlife fountain garden

Oh come on, what else am I supposed to call her?

Mediocre Fact: I actually had to Google “deep breath umbrella woman” to get anything like what I was looking for. I got a lot of weird artwork and one heroic bit of information that told me that the umbrella woman is actually called Missy.

The “Gatekeeper.”

Cool! If anything, I know less than I knew before.

I feed off of your speculation and inside knowledge; please, let me have it. I would absolutely love to discuss this episode with you. I mean, there it was after all, the excellent first episode of what looks to be a very promising season.

So, what do you think?

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One Nerdy Turn Deserves Another | Volume 2

5 Mar

Explanations for today’s traditional post:

Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit C.

(You probably should have seen this year’s theme coming. Press play for the full experience.)

But getting on with the first order of the day –

Dear Jennifer: you’re twenty-freaking-one.

I don’t think I’m equipped to handle this. You’re growing up too fast. I need to be comforted. I need a shock blanket.

Sorry, I’m fine, this has been coming for a while, I suppose. It’s time to celebrate!

And I know just how.

And you shall have –

(Which is delicious, by the way. I checked for you.)

The world would like to thank you, Jennifer, for over two decades of you. You done good. Many thanks for being the Annie to my Abed (is that a thing now? Buzzfeed quizzes, once completed, become a part of your soul’s identity, right?) on our many trips to the dreamatorium. Here’s to many more?

You know, I’m not entirely certain about those quiz-delegated roles. I like to think we’re more Troy and Abed.

(And this way we still get to keep the Dreamatorium)

No matter the outcome of pillow fort vs. blanket fort wars, the interference of the darkest timeline, or one of us leaving the community to sail around the world on a boat left to us by a freaky old man, I love you, and I’ll be there to support you.

(More in spirit than in flesh, if the freaky-old-man-boat thing happens.)

By the by, I’ve realized something truly earth-shattering – all those times I jokingly wrote in your birthday cards,

“(insert appropriate number here) years until you can legally drink!”

THERE ARE ZERO YEARS LEFT. YOU CAN LEGALLY DRINK RIGHT AT THIS SECOND. 

But of course, now that you are no longer a minor, I just want to be the millionth person to warn you not to get too crazy.

Weird stuff happens, love.

Mm. That was probably the worst way to convince you to not get plastered. Wait, come back, I have more reasons!

DARKEST TIMELINE, JEN. THE DARKEST TIMELINE WILL ENSUE IF YOU DRINK IN EXCESS. PARTY RESPONSIBLY. AND MAYBE DON’T ROLL DICE JUST TO BE SUPER SAFE.

But of course, there’s some value to be able to drink. All your your non-minor friends (major friends?) may finally admit to you that beer is totally gross, but they have to pretend to like it since they live in Oregon. They may at long last come clean about how “oaky” is not even a thing as far as wine flavors go, and it just sounds cool. 

And of course, when I turn 21, I get to just show up at your house for an impromptu boys’ girls’ night!

Oh no, I just turned our Troy/Abed into Dean/Abed STOP ABORT MISSION

Back on track:

Just remember today, for the rest of your glorious twenty-first year, and basically your life in general –

You are smart,

Stunning,

a joy to be around,

Reaction GIF: clapping, excited, happy, Joel McHale, Community

and you are more loved than you can imagine.

I hope you never doubt any of that. May God bless you and keep you in your twenty-first year, and have the very happiest of birthdays.

Knockaround Update

3 Jun

I have a lot of unrelated things to say today that I can’t organize into a normal posty-post.

So let’s get this show on the road!

        Uno: I have been nominated for the Versatile Blogger award by Gemma (author of Remain Insane) and nominated for the Sunshine award by Kayla (author of The Thousand Lives)!

Thank you, my dears! And the rest of you – check those girls out. They are winners and their blogs are fabulous.

Now to re-assign the awards! I’m not sure how many awards I can give to one blogger at a time, so I’ll just give one to each for now.

I pass on the Versatile Blogger award to the Voyager for her blog The Ultimate Voyage. This clever young lady has run an exceedingly magnificent blog for over a year now, and you really ought to treat yourself to her nerdy, thoughtful, theological goodness. My favorite of her posts is Cumulus Boni Et Mali.

Also, I would like to throw a VB award to Kayla of The Thousand Lives! If you have a fully functioning memory span, you’ll remember her from four paragraphs ago. She mainly writes about writing (very well, too), and my favorite post of hers is Write to Learn. 

I present the Sunshine award to Kirelion for her blog For the Win. She is a fairly new blogger, but her posts are still full of incessant loveliness and fangirling, especially my favorite of hers, The Great McGregor. I know this girl in the real world, and I can say confidently that you would love her.

Also a Sunshine award to Rika, the Awkward Geeky Girl. That blog name tells you everything you need to know! My favorite post of hers is The Shy Girl at a Party.

And now, according to the rules of accepting these awards, I have to answer the following questions about myself.

Favorite color: TARDIS blue. Otherwise known to normal people as royal blue.

Favorite animal: Turtle.

Favorite number: 30367.

Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Guava juice. I only ever drank it in Hawaii, but the day I forget the taste of that heavenly elixir is the day people stop using the phrase “when pigs fly.”

Favorite alcoholic drink: I’ll let you know when I find out.

Facebook or Twitter: Facebook has endowed me with the unwanted and despised knowledge that most people don’t know the finer points of grammar or spelling, but Twitter is a such a communicational downgrade (140 characters? For reals?) that I would have to say Facebook.

My passions: Stories and storytelling. You should not be surprised by this.

Giving or receiving gifts: Bit of a toss-up (who doesn’t like receiving gifts?), but if I must pick one, it would probably be giving. I’m a fan of bribing people for affection.

Favorite city: Bend, Oregon. Because, to quote Allie Brosh, the author of Hyperbole and a Half,

” … it is quite possibly the best place on earth and just breathing the air here is like huffing joy and celebration.”

Favorite TV shows: Come on guys, you know this. Doctor Who, Sherlock, Psych, White Collar, Phineas and Ferb (don’t judge), and Gravity Falls (please don’t judge).

Let’s move along now.

       Two: Remember when it was announced that Matt Smith had signed on to do season eight of Doctor Who? Well, due to the fact that we live in a fallen, broken world, this is no longer applicable. My Doctor is regenerating this Christmas.

No, no, no, just kidding. My actual reaction is

And I need a hug.

       Trois: I recently returned from a three-day trip to my state capitol with six high-school strangers who were, though wonderful people, not geeky at all. It was hard. I saw angel figurines and I blinked. I saw cracks in the wall and I didn’t point out our likely demise. I discussed investigation techniques and didn’t quote Sherlock. I hiked through a forest and didn’t reference Lost. My driver had a stetson and I whispered, “Stetsons are cool.”

No one heard me.

       And forty-three: Two kids were picked from that predominantly non-nerdy group to go to Washington DC, and I was blessed to be one of them! Something good came out of my pain after all. Lord willing, at the end of this month, I, along with the other winner, will be in the nation’s capitol, giving speeches in front of representatives, touring museums, debating with strangers, and continuing to choke back my well-placed fandom references.

Should be interesting.

That’s all for now, folks. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled program soon.

Don’t forget to be awesome!

Cumulus Boni et Mali

8 Apr

Because I couldn’t say it better.

Of, Through, To

Quite possibly my favorite quote, or at least my favorite from Doctor Who, is this:

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. (Doctor Who, Vincent and the Doctor”)

I love this quote because you can look at it several different ways.

The first is that in Life, there are so many variables as to what can happen to us. We can have happy moments, days, weeks, months years… and every single one of those happy spans of time are wonderful. However, they don’t always make the unavoidable bad times less bad. Sometimes they can even make them worse, because we wish for the times when we weren’t in a horrible place in our lives…

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The One About Readers

15 Feb

If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that they didn’t like to read, I’d probably have about six nickels.

*crickets*

::anticlimactic::

Okay, that isn’t many, but every time I took a step, I would hear those coins singing from my pocket, and I would think, “Oh, right. People are missing out.” And then after that, I would probably take them out and forget about them for a few weeks, and this coin metaphor for my non-reading friends should really have stopped a while ago.

I think that the disease of not reading starts by getting your heart broken. Maybe you read a book you regretted reading, or you couldn’t finish a story because the writer was so mind-numbingly bad. Even harder, perhaps you read a fantastic book… once. And then it was gone, never called you back, and the world’s been gray ever since. To those people, I want to say, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. Don’t give up, there’s some book for everyone. They want to be enjoyed as much as you want to enjoy one. Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong places. Have you tried online dating (I go to Goodreads.com, myself)?

And for those of you who know all too well the love of a hardbound novel at two in the morning, love on. The world needs more of you. When someone tells me they “don’t like reading” or “don’t read,” I have an emormously difficult time not telling them how cruel they’re being to themselves by keeping themselves in the dark.

As the great masterLemony Snicket once wrote,

“All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.”

Readers don’t see that as much as a warning as they do a challenge.

Take it away, Barney.