It’s common knowledge that the best thing for anyone’s worldview is to develop a habit of gratitude. It’s not always easy to cultivate; however, life just gives you things sometimes. This is one of those times. On this beautiful March weekend, DC delivered to us the first official trailer for the Justice League movie.
As you well know, my mom raised a polite little sweetheart, so I already wrote my thank-you note (you’re reading it). Have you screamed about DC today? Take a peek at the long-awaited trailer by clicking here. When you’re through, you know where I’ll be.
We begin on a cliff and a lonely figure. Seems very like a superhero we already know.
“We have to be ready. You, me, the others – there’s an attack coming from far away.”
The voice says Bruce Wayne, but the clothes say Snart, Captain Cold.
Oh well. You can’t win them all.
“Not coming, Bruce. It’s already here.”
You know when Wonder Woman narrates the scene right before yours, something’s going down. It’s not a matter of if, but when.
In this case, it’s when your air conditioning unit starts to levitate.
It’s when Terminator creeps up out of your wall like a termite. You have to get used to these things.
“The others – where are they?”
“Arthur Curry. The Aquaman.”
Have you ever had one of those times where a friend asked you, “Hey, what’s your type?” and you were like, “I don’t know, but I know it when I see it?”
I’m just thinking about that today, I guess.
See, this general water-based violence is something Marvel’s Prince Namor would be into. The difference is that his tiny ankle wings would be flapping like overworked canaries while he squealed about his bloodline. I’m glad things turned out the way they did.
“It’s on him.”
Real nice of him to offer to pay for your drink that was actually just the last dregs of someone else’s drink. That garbage is 60% backwash now, but you do you.
“Organic and bio-mechatronic body parts… He’s a cyborg.”
I’m not going to say anything about the innate lack of imagination in Cyborg’s naming history. Hey, 1980 was a busy year. Pac-Man came out! John Lennon was shot! The last thing on my mind would be giving a cyborg a name that wasn’t just literally “cyborg.”
“You should probably move.”
What a guy! This is the best advice any superhero has ever given any civilian, and it should be given way more often. See also: No one should live in Gotham City.
I’m here to talk to you about the Justice League… Initiative.
I love these snapshots of each person’s powers. Thank you for the clarification – for the uninitiated, Barry Allen is the one who goes nyooooom
“Whoever you’re looking for, it’s not me.”
I know, but Grant Gustin wasn’t available. Look, for real though, no beef. I adore the CW’s Flash, but Grant Gustin or Ezra Miller, if you put on that red suit, you become the light of my life.
Mr. Wayne feels a little different about the whole light-of-my-life thing, but I’m sure that will change by the end of the movie.
I’ve had two Quiksilvers and one Flash already. This scene is so familiar and cozy it makes me want to throw on pajamas and fix tea.
“You’re the Batman?”
Just “Batman.” It’s cleaner.
“They said the age of heroes would never come again.”
“It has to.”
All right, show us the lineup, The Batman.
We got Cyborg®™
The Fastest Man Alive (wheniwasachildisawmymotherkilledbysomethingimpossiblemy-fatherwenttoprisonforhermurderbutthenanaccidentmademetheimpossiblesecretlyiuse-myspeedtofightcrimeandfindotherslikemeandonedayillfindwhokilledmymother)
and Big Boy
(Cried DC executives while checking the success of their last movies)
When it’s moving, it looks a lot more badass and a lot less like a video game glitch. Trust me.
Look at my beautiful girl sweeping the knee; I might cry.
I’ll chase them anywhere/there’s time to spare/
Let the Justice League share this whole new world with you/
“What are your superpowers again?”
Don’t you read comics, Barry? Rich-Man has the proportionate strength and ability of a Swiss Bank Account.
From here on out, the scenes in the trailer get very fast and hard to capture, so let me walk you through it. Batman breaks into some sort of a machine that has him flipping around.
“Now it’s my turn.”
Now it’s his turn.
This… Um, I think a moonbase colony is attacking the Justice League. Not the people of the moonbase, but like, those buildings that are all linked together on other planets in science fiction movies. You know?
I really have no idea here. This shot is a complete mystery. What is going on??? I don’t know but I’m bored
Wonder Woman flexes after beating Batman in an arm wrestling match. Aquaman looks on and feels admiration along with a little something he doesn’t recognize – is it love?
Barry Allen dropkicks the timeline and ruins everybody’s lives.
Lois Lane makes the face I made during the football scene.
This chick shows up to remind me how little I really know about DC lore.
Barry tells his dad he still believes in him. Hey! I know one or two of my last explanations may have been conjecture, but this is a sure thing. Take this one to the bank. “No, dad, you’re innocent. Don’t give up.” See you in November, nerds. I’m gonna be right.
For a battle I know nothing about, this battlefield looks incredible. I mean, what do we even know so far about the villains from the trailer?
We know their eyes glow. We know that they’re metal. We know they broke some poor chump’s air conditioner (jerks). We know that we’re rooting against them – so maybe we know all that we need to.
I’m so there, Wonderful.
“It’s good to see you playing well with others again.”
Right back at you, J. Jonah Jameson. Is the Daily Bugle gonna be okay without you there to yell at it?
“Dressed like a bat. I dig it.”
The arm wrestling match with Wonderful must have left him a little bit of a sore loser.
I live and breathe unlikely friendships. I’m already in the theater guys, let’s do this thing.
COME AT ME NOVEMBER. leave the 3D behind but COME AT ME WITH EVERYTHING ELSE. I’m so excited for this! Comments? Questions? Concerns? I’m sure a lot of people have all three, but this movie looks incredible. And for my part, I don’t mind not getting to know the villains very well as long as they take the time to love on their main characters without having to use on-screen fact sheets (cough, cough Suicide Squad cough, cough, which was still you know, cough cough, a fun movie, but like, cough, not good).
Let me know what you think of Justice League so far! Here’s to an anticipatory six months, kiddos.