Tag Archives: Catching Fire

Barely-Even-A-Trailer Breakdown for Mockingjay Part I

2 Jul

On the one hand, I could spend time lamenting how much I’ve neglected my blog and how many trailers and notable events in the geek community that I’ve missed. Or, on the other hand, I could simply start making up for lost time.

Well, I’ve always been a sucker for a late grade.

Last week, the Hunger Games movie franchise advertised its intentions to break our hearts and make us pay money for it by releasing the first teaser for Mockingjay Part 1. Part 1, you ask? They’re making us pay twice as much money and a full year in between to break our hearts?

Yes, I answer. Pay attention.

mckj_1

Coming at you live from the studios that have been solely responsible for the trauma and murder of seventy-five generations!

*applause from audience being threatened with machine guns*mckj_2

“Since the dark days, our great nation has known only peace.”

*person in audience coughs and is immediately shot in the head*
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“Ours is an elegant system: conceived to nourish and protect.”

Why don’t I feel like this is a movie trailer? I know it’s just a teaser, but it sure feels like a commercial for something else.

And why do I suddenly want to buy an iPhone 5s?mckj_4

Of course. It looks so much better now.mckj_5

Oh wow. This feels more like an apple commercial than apple commercials do. Good to know not everything changes when your country converts to a child-killing government to keep the peace.mckj_6

“The districts are the body. The Capitol is the beating heart.”

Fun fact: No one came to Snow’s poetry readings as a young twenty-something, and that’s why he’s so bitter.mckj_7

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.mckj_8

“Your hard work feeds us, and in return, we feed and protect you.”

I can think of a couple of districts that aren’t feeling that feed part as well as you think they might.

mckj_9

It takes a big man to sacrifice the lives of others’ children. Panem is so lucky.
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Peeta what have they done to you

You look so clean

“But if you resist the system, you starve yourself. If you fight against it, it is you who will bleed. I know you will stand with me, with us, with all of us, together, as one. And then, you too can wear a snappy white jacket.

mckj_11

“Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever.”

Ain't it Fun -- Paramore

Fun fact: I hide behind pop culture references to hide my deep pain.

mckj_12Mockingjay, Part 1.

And additionally, much like an iPhone, the next one will come out a year after this one, and it will crush the dreams of millions!

(It’s possible that I have a knowledge gap where apple products are concerned. Yes? No?)

See you in November, tributes.

Ain’t No Party Like Comic-Con

22 Jul

A little while back, I was mindlessly scrolling through tumblr, when I stumbled upon a strange image.

It was a young man with a bar stool on his head. In one hand, he held a whisk, and in the other, a plunger.

The caption read “My cosplay.”

You know how he looks to normal people?

Crazy.

This dude looks stark raving mad.

But to those of us in the know – well, he still looks stark raving mad, but we know he’s dressing up as the Doctor’s most hated enemy, the Dalek. (Daleks have no concept of elegance)

Now picture this type of person, fully insane and loving it, and multiply it by (give or take) 130,000. Just for kicks, give them all money to burn and take away any semblance of will power they thought they had. Got it? Good. Now put all of them in the same convention center in a little town called San Diego. Hello, Comic-Con.

The 2013 San Diego Comic-Con ended last Sunday after four days of fangirls and fanboys cosplaying, trailer-watching, panel-visiting, line-standing, and a gloriously unhealthy amount of screaming. I did not attend, but I was as present as I could be without utilizing money and gas to be “there” in the physical sense. From my remote location, I learned a few things about this year’s SDCC.

  • At the X-Men: Days of Future Past panel, attendees asked all the right questions: “With the expanding Marvel universe… Is Deadpool possible?”
  • … And got all the wrong answers: “Anything’s possible.

So… no? Just say no. Stop allowing my hopes to exist.

There would have been a Catching Fire trailer breakdown post, but there’s already been one trailer released, and as my breakdown dialogue would have been made up of all-caps declarations of love for this film and its characters, it would have gotten real weird real fast. And my posts are never weird.

  • The Doctor Who 50th Anniversary trailer was shown exclusively to the comic-con audience.
  • Said trailer was then denied internet release for a few weeks. Or months. 

Remember, these are the same people who still haven’t given you season three of Sherlock.

  • Season four of Sherlock was confirmed. 

Cool, guys. I’ll just pencil that in for 2021.

  • Loki of Asgard gate-crashed the Thor: The Dark World panel and raised his army from a seemingly innocent crowd of by-standers.

And every Hiddlestoner there died instantaneously. I’m only kind of exaggerating. Watch the way-too-easy take-over here.

  • The title of Avengers 2 was made public. The year 2015 will see the release of The Avengers: Age of Ultron.

I know what you’re thinking. And by that, I mean, “I know what I was thinking.”

“Yes! Finally, an intro for Henry Pym (Ant-Man/Giant Man/Goliath/Yellowjacket/The dude who created Ultron) and Janet Van Dyne (Wasp), who, by the way, should have shown up a while ago, but who cares? No one can leave them out of the story now!”

  • Joss Whedon confirmed that Henry Pym would not be part of Ultron’s origin story.

Not cool.

These are just a few highlights from the biggest nerd party in the country. I didn’t attend, and maybe you didn’t either. That’s fine! It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and hey, you can get most of the details on the internet anyway.

We didn’t make it this time. That’s okay.

But let’s not make it a habit.

See you next year, fanpeople.