Tag Archives: Comic Book Movies

For What It’s Worth

29 Oct

I was at work when I noticed what was going down.

MikaylaTuesday was a big day for the studios responsible for your knowledge of Norse mythology. The frankly unsettling amount of Marvel news unleashed yesterday hit the internet like a SHIELD helicarrier into the New York bay, so I feel you are all likely to know what I’m pleased about right now.

However, that’s totally not going to stop me from setting up a quick recap.

Ladies and Gentlemen!

I KNOW RIGHT

In addition to all that jazz, we have a few casting announcements, most notably that of Chadwick Boseman playing the Black Panther and Benedict Cumberbatch coming on board to play Dr. Strange.

Oh, not enough to get you excited? Have some footage of Captain Specimen tearing a log in half while Puny Stark looks on in wonder. 

I get it. You’re feeling greedy. Marvel assumed that would happen, so they’ve gone and gifted us with the a sneak peek of the Age of Ultron dinner party-vengers and their heaps of worthiness.

Of course, we mustn’t forget that said sneak-peek scene was preceded by Agents of SHIELD and their well-written, swift  machete stab to the gut with its latest episode, A Fractured House.

Guh.

(My heart goes out to all you poor souls not out-of-your-mind about these recent developments. We just need to get this out of our systems, and your patience will be greatly appreciated until that moment comes.)

Excelsior, my friends. Excelsior.

Trailer Breakdown for Avengers: Age of Ultron

23 Oct

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to your dreams.

The official trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron swept the internet off its feet last night, and it’s been trending everywhere since. I may have watched it one or two or fourteen times myself. However, if you have managed to not be run over by a screaming fanboy or fangirl trying to get you to watch the trailer with them, then click that link, for now is the time. 

And what a time to be alive, my friend.

aou_1

“I’m gonna show you something beautiful.

Oh I know
aou_2

“Everyone screaming.

Oh nvmaou_3

note: Quicksilver’s hair is dark. Something in this movie turns it white. carry on.aou_4

“For mercy.aou_5

The Captain has joined the trailer, ready to sock ol’ Hitler Ultron on the jaw.
aou_6

“You want to protect the world,

Hawkeye, I’ve missed you gracing our screens with strangely angelic shots.aou_7

Thor, baby, on the bright side, no one in your family is even indirectly at fault this time.
aou_8

“But you don’t want it to change.aou_9

(Visibly uncomfortable with the word “change”)aou_10

“You’re all puppets –

whoa
aou_11

Breaking news: Thor is wearing normal clothes. It’s a good day. That is all. (I appreciate that he took a page out of Captain Hook’s book, entitled Wait I’ve Been Wearing This Outfit for Upwards of a Hundred Years)
aou_12

Now is a good time to point out that in every shot Hawkeye appears in in this trailer, his face could be saying, “What did I miss?”aou_13

“Tangled in strings.aou_15

Remember when we thought the Winter Soldier and Loki were the best villains the MCU were going to conceive?
aou_16

“Strings.”

Such sweet, summer children.

aou_17

*Nightmare version of “No Strings” from Pinocchio starts to play*

It’s okay, I was never able to watch Pinocchio without being mildly terrified anyway.

aou_18aou_20

Honey, is that another new suit? How many tailors are you wearing out?
aou_21

Do you get it? aou_22

Wearing out.
aou_24

It’s a clothing pun.aou_25

Bruce, I have not seen you in a shot yet that didn’t make me want to bundle you up and feed you a warm meal. Please stop this. You’re breaking me.
aou_26

And Natasha, it’s okay. They’ll give you your own movie someday. aou_27

Whooaaa, whoa whoa, the twins and Ultron? Is Ultron to the Maximoffs as Magneto was to the Maximoffs in their first comics appearance?

(By the way, I mean in the sense of the Maximoffs being his indentured servants, not of them being his illegitimate children)aou_28

(But on that topic, if Pietro or Wanda gave daddy dearest a call, he could clean this mess up real quick. That’s a lot of metal.)aou_29aou_30

They’re like bugs. Like ants. Like ant-men.

Nah, that’s silly.
aou_31

See? Look at Clint’s face. LOOK AT IT.

“What did I miss?”aou_32

What a glorious, glorious month.aou_33

“It’s the end.aou_34

“The end of the path I started us on.”

Ehhh, don’t flatter yourself. It was mostly Loki and Captain America.aou_35

And this guy, of course. By the way, don’t bother wondering about how you saw him burn that eye patch in favor of sunglasses in CA: The Winter Soldier.
aou_36

“Nothing lasts forever.”

You’re right. He probably sat on those sunglasses. We’ve all been there, Fury.aou_37

Hey, look, it’s the classic Scarlet-Witch-is-going-bonkers pose!aou_38

Hey look, it’s me watching this trailer for the first time!aou_39

Wait. I saw concept art for this scene.
aou_40

Oh my gosh yes it’s coming Hulkbuster yes
aou_41

guhaou_42

GUHaou_43

GAHaou_44

*On her way to get her own movie*aou_45

My only hope for this character is that they make him nearly as cool as Fox’s Quicksilver. That’s all I hope for anyone, really.
aou_46

But for serious, I am so excited to see these two in action. They’re perfect.aou_47

This is a mighty meaningful and important stare for a character who was listed on imdb as a nameless “Asguardian god.” Speculation, please.

aou_49

Are these uncomfortably chest-heavy shots of Thor going to be a regular thing in Marvel movies now? Is this like a subtle satire of how women have been treated in every superhero movie ever, or is it just fanservice?

I mean, I’m not complaining. Just confused.aou_50

*Nightmare Pinocchio music stops, replaced with nightmare Tarzan music*

♪I wanna know/Can you show me/I wanna know about these strangers like me/♬

Okay, back to nightmare realm Pinocchio.aou_51

Straight ahead, you’ll see our subtle reminder that this takes place in Russia.

If you look within your memories, you’ll remember that a certain wintery soldier was in Russia for quite some time between now and 1945.

If you search your heart for a strong sense of hope, you may see what I’m getting at.

aou_53

#WhatdidImiss

Aw man, it’ll be good to have this champ in a movie again. Been too long.
aou_54

“No, mother doth NOT know I weareth her drapes,aou_55

“BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD”aou_56

I know, right, Natasha? I cried.aou_57

“Now

AAAAAaou_58

“I’m

AAAAAAAaou_59

“Free.

AAAAAAAAAAAAaou_60

Brofist, buddy. Bring it in.aou_61

That was the last vibranium on the planet, Steve, please be more carefulaou_62

“There are no strings on me.”aou_63

I have waited three years.

I am READY.
aou_64BRING IT BUDDY.

Post Traumatic SDCC Disorder

31 Jul

One week ago,  the very foundations of California were shaken by a single, unified fan scream.

If you live anywhere near an internet connection, I bet that you felt it too.

San Diego Comic-Con 2014.

Seeing as there’s no need to drop the ball on nerd-knowledge just because I was not present, I’ve compiled a list of my favorite bits from the convention. Therefore? Coming to you from that room of dreams, Hall H, here is some of the best of SDCC 2014.

  • Chris Hardwick, Crown Prince of the nerds (and the person you wish you were), took the selfie to end all selfies with the one and only DC trinity.

You’re looking at Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman posing for a picture taken by Marty McFly.

What a time to be alive.

  • The Avengers: Age of Ultron panel featured a gloriously skilled and surprisingly long table of Avengers, and the angels cheered (though their voices were obscured by those of the hyperventilating fans in the crowd below).

Notable events included Chris Hemsworth’s announcement of intent to turn into the female Thor in an upcoming adaption (“I don’t want to jinx it, but this might be my oscar”), Robert Downey Jr’s gift of roses to the audience and to the lady cast members, and Josh Brolin (or as we know him, Thanos) making a surprise appearance for the sole purpose of fanfare and eating one of Downey’s proffered roses.

All very normal things.

  • The Agents of SHIELD panel, (a show which outgrew its name in no more than twenty-two episodes)graced us all by releasing a gag reel.
  • And later, still during the AoS panel, a teaser was shown (not available unless you’re a level seven agent) in which it was revealed that a Bobbi Morse was going to be joining the SHIELD roster.

Bobbi Morse? you ask. Wait, Mockingbird? You continue, standing up, your voice getting more frantic and excited. Sweet baby Moses, are you kidding me right now? you scream into the late afternoon sun as you spontaneously sprout wings and take off, startling your friends and family. Hawkeye crossovers aheadddd is the last thing your loved ones hear as you disappear over the horizon.

I know right I’m so excited too

  • Since you couldn’t be there, Mark Ruffalo took the liberty of acting just like you would have in reaction to the range of celebrities present.

Is that Paul Rudd?

Living legend.

And, though it wasn’t officially related to the world’s biggest geek-fest, one has to question its convenient timing –

  • Test footage leaked for that movie you want so badly.

“Test footage” people keep reminding us. “As in – not an actual movie. Not yet. Maybe not ever. This is test footage.”

To which, of course, fans collectively replied, “I can’t hear you,” before turning back to our friends and screaming “DEADPOOL” over and over again. All that leaked footage has largely been reclaimed by Fox on copyright grounds, but considering that few things are ever scrubbed form the internet, there are still a couple of places you can look. (Warnings: Strong language, and, hey, it’s Deadpool: violence)

Such a long panel, but the highlights as far as I am concerned involved Gollum impressions from Andy Serkis, an expression of interest in a LOTR-flavored museum with original props, and an analysis of how surprisingly attractive Elf ears can be (as if that was news to anyone).

As per the event, there were questions for the panelists: “Where would you take Smaug at the Comic-Con?” asked one fan. Benedict Cumberbatch, ever the charmingly insulting gentleman, made a face and replied “Probably Hall H. I don’t think he’d fit in anywhere else.”

I feel like one or two people might want to disagree, but considering that a good chunk of people probably dressed up as the menacing dragon, it seems a fair enough remark.

It takes all kinds at SDCC, so obviously there was much more to the convention; but these have been the parts that got me in the send-all-caps-texts-to-everyone-in-your-contact-list mood.

Pretty apparently, I didn’t make it this year. Maybe you didn’t either, if you felt compelled to come here to learn these things.

We didn’t make it this time. That’s okay. Not even Joss Whedon went this year. It’s okay to skip every now and then.

But let’s not make it a habit.

See you next year, fanpeople.

Let’s Talk About Captain America: The Winter Soldier

4 Apr

First, though, as a matter of course, we have to discuss how you should in no way be here if you haven’t seen the movie yet; that, however, is of secondary importance compared to the fact that you are sitting here, wasting time on the internet (of all places), when you could be wasting time watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Come on. Where are your priorities?

Back to the matter at hand. If you’ve continued this far, you’ve seen the movie. So let’s talk.

Let’s talk about how this movie did the truly impossible thing and made me want to take up jogging. For at least three minutes. With Sam Wilson. On your left.

Let’s talk about,

“I have the exact same glasses.”

“You guys are practically twins.”

“Pff. I WISH.” 

Let’s talk about Natasha and Steve being one of my favorite on-screen brolationships to ever bro. And, obviously, we just have to talk about how “Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.”

“Yes, they do.”

Unfortunately, talking about it is easier said than done, as most things tend to be. I found that a lot of the emotions induced during the course of this movie aren’t of the efficiently explainable variety.

For example, instead of saying, “When Abed (Danny Pudi) made his cameo, I felt such an emotion that I felt as though my brain went completely offline as I gasped like someone drowning and smiled so largely that I gave myself the laughter lines of a ninety-year-old woman,” it would be much easier for me to simply go –  “ABED”

or “DR. ARNIM ZOLA”

or “I’M SORRY SITWELL, DID YOU JUST SAY ‘STEPHEN STRANGE’?”

Seriously though.

or “I’M WITH YOU ‘TIL THE END OF THE LINE.”

I really do want to talk about that. Steve is known for never giving up in what he believes in, and he believes in his best friend Bucky – it was the only thing he could do for him.

“Not a perfect soldier, but a good man” has rarely been better displayed than it was in this superlatively well-made film, and it is one of the things that makes this movie so worth seeing, so worth talking about, and so very, very worth flailing about in your theater seat, disturbing the general peace, and very nearly jumping into your sister’s arms screaming during the post-credit scenes (this is a great way to bond, by the way).

Because you’ll wait for those scenes, right? Both of them?

Don’t you dare let me down.

Speaking of which, that’s the final thing that needs to be discussed here.

Know what? I want you to be there with me. Let me just take you on a little tour of my cozy corner of the theater last night, during the first post-credit scene.

*Men speak ominously in laboratory-like chambers*

*Ill-intentioned men speak of activating the twins*

*Camera pans to adjacent prison cells, one containing Wanda Maximoff and the other, her brother Pietro*

*Three years pass*

// So can we please talk about this movie?