First, though, as a matter of course, we have to discuss how you should in no way be here if you haven’t seen the movie yet; that, however, is of secondary importance compared to the fact that you are sitting here, wasting time on the internet (of all places), when you could be wasting time watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
Come on. Where are your priorities?
Back to the matter at hand. If you’ve continued this far, you’ve seen the movie. So let’s talk.
Let’s talk about how this movie did the truly impossible thing and made me want to take up jogging. For at least three minutes. With Sam Wilson. On your left.
Let’s talk about,
“I have the exact same glasses.”
“You guys are practically twins.”
“Pff. I WISH.”
Let’s talk about Natasha and Steve being one of my favorite on-screen brolationships to ever bro. And, obviously, we just have to talk about how “Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.”
“Yes, they do.”
Unfortunately, talking about it is easier said than done, as most things tend to be. I found that a lot of the emotions induced during the course of this movie aren’t of the efficiently explainable variety.
For example, instead of saying, “When Abed (Danny Pudi) made his cameo, I felt such an emotion that I felt as though my brain went completely offline as I gasped like someone drowning and smiled so largely that I gave myself the laughter lines of a ninety-year-old woman,” it would be much easier for me to simply go – “ABED”
or “DR. ARNIM ZOLA”
or “I’M SORRY SITWELL, DID YOU JUST SAY ‘STEPHEN STRANGE’?”
or “I’M WITH YOU ‘TIL THE END OF THE LINE.”
I really do want to talk about that. Steve is known for never giving up in what he believes in, and he believes in his best friend Bucky – it was the only thing he could do for him.
“Not a perfect soldier, but a good man” has rarely been better displayed than it was in this superlatively well-made film, and it is one of the things that makes this movie so worth seeing, so worth talking about, and so very, very worth flailing about in your theater seat, disturbing the general peace, and very nearly jumping into your sister’s arms screaming during the post-credit scenes (this is a great way to bond, by the way).
Because you’ll wait for those scenes, right? Both of them?
Don’t you dare let me down.
Speaking of which, that’s the final thing that needs to be discussed here.
Know what? I want you to be there with me. Let me just take you on a little tour of my cozy corner of the theater last night, during the first post-credit scene.
*Men speak ominously in laboratory-like chambers*
*Ill-intentioned men speak of activating the twins*
*Camera pans to adjacent prison cells, one containing Wanda Maximoff and the other, her brother Pietro*
*Three years pass*
// So can we please talk about this movie?