Tag Archives: Half-blood

Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined Part 3

15 Sep

In Part 1 and Part 2 of my fictional job search, I covered eleven potential occupations, but there are still more that need to be addressed. The current job economy isn’t exactly promising, and if one of these careers are closed to you or me, then I want us all to be able to have a full arsenal of other choices.

So, seeing as I like to be prepared, here is part three.

Jedi.

Upside:  Jedi are respected, revered, and fight for good. Mind tricks can be learned with time, and last, but not even close to least, light sabers. Light sabers are just given out like candy, you guys.

Downside: Hand injuries are surprisingly common, due to the liberal distribution of light sabers. Love is forbidden. Sure, I could get around this little rule by hauling out the whole

“Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a jedi’s life. So you might say that we are encouraged to love,”

line, but then I might hate myself. And everyone else would hate me too. I would eventually be so consumed by hate that I would turn into a Sith lord. And that’s a whole different career.

Archaeologist.

Upside: Seeing as actual archaeology (such as going to digs, sifting through shards found at digs, studying history, etc.) tends to be more of a pastime in this occupation than a requirement, there is all the more time for rollicking adventures. These adventures typically involve shooting at bad dudes,  and generally looking fabulous.

Downside: All those normal archaeologist duties have been replaced by being shot at by bad dudes, pushed into pits by bad dudes, and getting trapped in exploding, recurring time loops by bad dudes. It’s also very difficult to ascertain when your adventures should end peacefully – you never know if your next adventure will be your last, or, even worse, a really terrible follow-up adventure with bad CGI and weird aliens that everyone hates.

Auror.

Upside: High status. Dedication to investigating and fighting the dark arts, and making the world a safer place. Aurors are wizarding detectives. And did I mention magic? I mean, come on, son. Magic. I might even get the chance to teach at Hogwarts.

Downside: The thing about investigating and fighting the dark arts is that it attracts people who are involved in and work the dark arts. The thing about those people is that they kill people. And when they’re not killing people, they’re pretending to be people. And when they’re not doing that, they’re probably trying. And even if I did get a chance to teach at Hogwarts, I have noticed that Hogwarts is probably the worst-regulated school ever. Job security, not to mention plain old safety, is a joke there.

Half-blood.

Upside: Half-bloods (offspring of Greek gods and humans) get to stay the summer in an epic summer camp where they learn to use their hereditary, slightly magical skills, make adorable friends, and go on ill-advised suicide missions. I would get to have exciting adventures with my underage friends and dish out as much inappropriately-timed witty banter as I please. That’s an important factor for me.

Downside: As Percy Jackson himself said, “Look, I didn’t want to be a half-blood.” He then goes on to describe how he thinks that if I am a Half-blood, I should hide from the truth and live a lie. This is less than inviting. Also, to be a Half-blood, I have to be born a certain way. Experts have discovered, after much study, that arranging my own birth after being born is nearly impossible, outside of spiffy DeLoreans and flux capacitors, and even then I’m gonna have issues. This is probably a no-go.

Radio announcer.

Upside: I would be the source of information for all my listeners. Without me, how would people know to avoid the dog park (seriously, don’t go near the dog park)? How would people know to turn down the television when having private conversations that the secret police are trying to listen in on? Who would remind everyone what a jerk Steve Carlsberg is? I’m a mainstay of my community, and too high-profile for the people in station management to effectively snuff out without causing a fuss.

Downside: The people in station management probably don’t care about making a fuss, but I think I’ve said too much already. 

Run. 

Opera ghost.

Upside:  I can sing on the job. Sing loudly, too. Steady job, if I can be dedicated enough, and my workplace is not only enormous and underground, but lit entirely by apparently waterproof candles. Did I mention that singing on the job is literally a requirement? I can’t stress that enough.

Downside: Office morale is low, what with my underlings trying to hunt me down and kill me and all. Although singing is in the job description, most of my songs are doomed to be melancholy and riddled with emotional scars. Also, my face is riddled with scars (non-emotional). Admittedly, a lot of pain and scarring is involved with this occupation.

There are still far more careers to be had, fellow fiction-lovers. Some of these ones were suggested to me by my lovely readers (Thank you to Kayla and secondchanced), so please, feel free to tell me what other storybook job openings I’ve missed!

I wish you all the luck in the world in finding the job that is the right fit for you. Also, if you land one of these before I do, I would really appreciate it if you put in a good word for me with your employers.

As always, happy hunting!

Advertisements

Open in New Tab

11 Sep

Friends, family, fangirls:

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the world is full of things.

Full of them.

There is an abundance of stuff, indoors and outdoors, in people’s heads, on their tongues, hidden in places we’ll never find, and on billboards for everyone to see. It’s everywhere you look.

Therefore, focusing on just one of those things is a task whose difficulty I consistently underestimate.

Focus is harder than you would expect an unobtrusive, two-syllable word to be. And in this generation, it is even worse. I usually try to console myself by saying that of course I have problems focusing, all Half-bloods have ADHD symptoms, so why should I be any exception?

That excuse is a little more problematic that I like my excuses to be, but I take what I can get.

When I can’t focus, my brain turns into a weird Twilight Zone version of youtube. I’ve got one thing going over here, and I’m trying to pay attention to it, but there’s something in my mental sidebar I need to check out as well. So I hit “open in new tab” and try to remember to think about that next. Then I see something else I should look at. Thirty seconds later I have forty-two tabs open, and some of the audio is overlapping and I can’t find which one is making the noise and anyway the internet connection is slowing down and nothing is working anyway and then

nope.

Any semblance of concentration I had has evaporated.

Time to lie down and try to calm the brain-static.

Or

Maybe I’ll just open a new tab and browse something to settle my mind down!

Even worse: Maybe I’ll just open a new tab and browse something while I work in another window!

Public service announcement: You cannot write a speech and watch Psych at the same time. There. I just saved you two hours of poorly-written drivel and not-properly-enjoyed Psych. You’re welcome.

I don’t know about you guys, but I am a multitasker only in that I like to sing show tunes while I wash dishes. If I try anything else, especially academics-related, the only result is that I do two things poorly instead of just one.

That’s efficiency, people. Take notes. And even without the multi-tasking trap, sometimes I use other ways to trick myself into opening that new tab; such as logging onto pinterest to inspire my brain to do something creative. Adorably naive of me, I know.

As much as you might think it will, clicking through pins of TARDIS-themed shoes, Misha Collins, Great Gatsby quotes, and plant terrariums does not give a brain ideas.  It just goes,

     “Hey, this is fun. We should do nothing more often.”

“I brought you here to get inspired, brain.”

     “That so? You’re hilarious. But not as hilarious as this gif of Zachary Quinto.”

“Mm, you have a good point.” *opens gif in new tab*

I think I’ve made my point. It’s barely even the problem of procrastination – it’s distraction. And procrastination. There’s a fair amount of both, but hey, stay with me here, I’m getting to the point in the post that you read in your serious voice.

I was talking about the overabundance of stuff at the beginning of this post. It’s not just school that is affected by stuff, there’s work, there’s relationships, there’s good old fashioned life. Stuff is still there. Distractions and obstacles and hurdles made of the stuffiest stuff that stuff can be made out of.

This post is stuff.

I’m sorry, but it’s true. I’ve lured you into more stuff.

Stuff is by no means always terrible thing. There’s just a limit to how much we can handle at once. Being bogged down by a lot of good uses for your time is still being bogged down. It’s more than okay to take a break and get away from stuff.

If this post is one of the things between you and that thing you have to get done, I apologize. Hit the little X button on the top of this window and flee to somewhere where nothing has a glowing screen.

Trust me, that wakes up your brain and brings it to attention far faster than any board on Pinterest.

I’m doing okay so far. I know that focus is attainable.

If I can just stay in one tab for a while, then I’ll be fine.