Tag Archives: john watson

“It’s a Three-[Episode] Problem.”

26 Jan

Today in America, Sherlock season three, episode two, airs officially for the first time.

Today in the UK, or for everyone who has successfully tricked their computers into thinking it is the UK, it’s just another day in the new age of Sherlock hiatus.

Nine episodes from 2010 to 2014…

And welcome back to the waiting room, everybody.

Anyhow, due to the unpredictable nature of the internet and its inhabitants, if you have not properly watched the whole series yet, chances are you’ve at least had some element of it spoiled for you.

If you have not, simply continue reading and I promise that you will.

(That was a warning to the spoiler-shy. Be gone with you.)

I’m not trying to run a review blog here (for lots of reasons), but I need to talk about these episodes. I can’t not talk about these episodes. However, after several years of knowing myself, I’m aware that my tendency to wax eloquent (some pretty words for “never shut up until banned from all forms communication”) will force any conversation of mine about Sherlock into the space of novels, rather than chapters.

To be fair, there’s just too much to talk about – the Moriarty-Mind-Asylum, Sherlock’s even-more-of-a-jerk-than-usual bit, Molly’s serious over-correction after getting over Sherlock (meat dagger?), Mycroft’s unrealistic weight loss expectations…

Anyway, to take it all down a bit for post form, I’ve decided to condense each Sherlock season three episode into a study on one sentence, then two, then three.

Because that’s how many episodes there are.

Just three.

(weeps quietly)

The Empty Hearse:

  • So we actually never find out how he did it?

Fine, we got the most credible solution at the end – but not from the mouth of Sherlock so much as from the Sherlock-flavored mind of a severely cray-cray Anderson. Rude. I think Sherlock, of all people, would be able to disregard John’s little “I don’t care how you did it” speech (speak for yourself) and tell him anyway.

No artist can resist signing his work.

The Sign of Three:

  • Choosing Sherlock as the best man is simultaneously the best and worst decision John has ever made.

I would pay good money to have someone (Sherlock) flip over the reception table mid-speech, go “Let’s play MURDER,” and then proceed to solve the crime of the uncomfortably tight mandated belts.

It’s also worth mentioning that this episode made me irrationally afraid of ever wearing my own belts ever again.



His Last Vow:

  • Magnussen made me want to sanitize everything I own.

Fantastic villain.

And by fantastic, I mean, utterly disgusting. However, a good friend of mine did critique the episode by saying she felt like she didn’t hate Magnussen enough.

I pretended to understand.

I don’t understand.

(And yes, I really should have that on a t-shirt)

  • Oh sweet mother of pearl, Mary Watson, what the heck.

Surprise, everyone. I know that a lot of us were suspicious when Sherlock deduced her to be a liar in episode 1 (along with a number of other things identified by the Sherlock-vision floating deductions), but I definitely saw no words reading “crazy-pants assassin” flying around her pretty face.

  • And in answer to the episode’s final question,

I present to you a short text-message exchange between a friend and I.


Trailer Breakdown for Sherlock Season 3

9 Dec

Yesterday, the illustrious British Broadcasting Corporation released the first proper official Sherlock season 3 trailer that wasn’t two and a half seconds long, and the internet rejoiced at the good nature of the gift-giver. But if that was not enough (and it never really is), BBC decided to grace us with a series of clips as well, exclusive clips all making up the “interactive trailer” that BBC thought we deserved after two years.

And the BBC saw that it was good.

I think you will too.

It’s like some sort of disclaimer.

“You may suffer from emotional trauma as a result of the following programme and/or as a result of its hiatus.”


Like this guy, for example.

“I don’t care how you faked it,

Really, mournstache John? You’re not even a little bit curious?



I want to know why.”

Yeah, um no, Sherlock, John does not speak for all of us. We want to know how, and hey, it having been two years and all, we want to know pronto. ASAP. LOL.


“The one person he thought didn’t matter at all to me turned out to be the person that mattered the most.”

Molly? Are you talking about Molly? I always feel so informed after I speak to you.sher_7

Three cheers for the Molly smirk none of us have seen yet. sher_8

#Not Your Housekeepersher_9

Good heavens, unwanted facial hair for everyone. Mourning does strange things to people.sher_10

“I pick-pocket him when he’s annoying.”sher_11

It all looks so official until you start to think that chair in front of the desk looks like a poolside recliner.

In the trailer, this shot lasts about seven years, so for the full breakdown effect, you may want to stop scrolling until 2020 (you’ll have at least one more season of Sherlock by that time too – win-win).

“I think I’ll surprise John.

Go down to Baker Street, who knows, jump out of a cake.”

And the entire Sherlock fan art community said in unison, “ON IT.”sher_15

“Baker Street? He  isn’t there anymore. It’s been two years. He’s got on with his life.”sher_16

“What life? I’ve been away.”

Oh right. There’s the Sherlock we all know and feel a little bit bad about loving.sher_17sher_18


*Like really a lot of very close-shot screaming*

I’m not really sure if this is the response of Mrs. Hudson to seeing Sherlock again, or a portrait of the fandom’s response to seeing Sherlock again.sher_19

Eye. Because reasons.

Ah, well, of course. No Holmes adaption would really be accepted if it had no magnifying glass featured.sher_21

You can’t giggle, it’s a crime scene.


“The terror alert has been raised to critical.”

Mary Morstan responds to terror by riding around town with her husband’s dead best friend.

Because he doesn’t have weird facial hair.

“Welcome to my world.”sher_24

“An attack is coming.”sher_25

In the form of a subway? There it is again, fictional characters and subways. *sulks*sher_26

So far, Sherlock season 3 promises to be full of obligatory close-ups of Cumberbatch cheekbones.sher_27

“I need to get to know London again. Breathe it in.
sher_28Every quiver of its beating heart.”

And now, the weather.

Sherlock, Season 3. It’s so close you can smell it.

And all 243 types of its tobacco ash.