Tag Archives: Netflix

Trailer Breakdown for Stranger Things Season 2

5 Feb

While a televised Let’s Play was being watched by over 114 million Americans today, the TV in my home was unmuted for a whole 37 seconds.

You already know what it is.

Of course – if you don’t, then hit the newest official teaser for Stranger Things Season 2 and when you get back, I’ll still be here, screaming into a pillow.

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We open on a scene each of us have experienced first-hand, especially if, like most Americans, you are a literal member of the Brady Bunch.

“L’eggo my eggo!”

“You l’eggo my eggo!”

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Static. Brady Bunch turns a little Last Chance Detective.

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Turns a little Twilight Zone.

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“Eleven!”

I’m out-of-my-mind stoked that we have solid proof that Eleven is going to be as important in this season as she was in the last, but! Is!! She!! Staying properly hydrated!! She bleeds a lot and I’m worried

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You know what? ALL these kids need water bottles. Look at those nerds! They never get off their bikes unless they’re playing D&D campaigns or actively dying.

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First new shot of Hopper. Sorry I couldn’t get you a image where it doesn’t look like a picture you took by accident with a disposable camera when you were nine, but what’s more authentic 1984 than bad lighting and mistakes?

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This season is set in 1984, one year after the events of the first season that left us with unbearable amounts of questions, fan speculation, and people dressed as Eleven for Halloween.

(I’m not judging, I was wearing a wig and carrying a frozen waffle box just like you were.)

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Anyway, if Dustin and the Pussycats can rock their cosplays with this much confidence and charisma, I’m pretty sure none of us have to think twice about ours ever again.

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What’s Hopper dressed up for Halloween as, Indiana Jones? Lando? Or is he gonna shelve that one this year for the kids’ sakes?

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freedom for america, freedom for france

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The time stamps show that Eleven is being tested the night before Halloween. Hopefully she’s being asked about any other costume ideas she might have. If it is anything else, I’m going full mom and tearing this thing down.

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I’m going fULL MOM AND TEARING THIS THING DOWN

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Slenderman #confirmed

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Enjoy this shot of official Netflix admission that No, Will Has Not Suffered Enough™

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Same.

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If there’s something strange/in your neighborhood/who you gonna call?

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!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot express how ready for this I am. If we work together, we can run this hype train for the better part of a year, right? The mouth-breathers at Netflix are making us wait a little over 8 months for this shining gem, but I’m comfortable considering this a birthday present. It’s almost eggo season again, kiddos. I’m ready.

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Hey by the way, did the Compatriots or the Meg Falconers win the Puppybowl?

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Baby, Seasons Change but People Don’t.

30 Jan

What season is it now?

Don’t give me that “winter” garbage. It’s not winter. I’m not counting down the days until Christmas anymore, and when I put on a sweater, no one looks at me and sings”sweater weather!” They look… sad.

Obviously it’s not spring. I wore a t-shirt last week and if it hadn’t been for a selfless act of love, my heart would have frozen solid. I saw a swarm of eleven beautiful robins yesterday, but I think they were arguing about who had gotten them lost.

My personal sanity hinges on having something oming up to look forward to, and the nearest celebration is Super Bowl Sunday, which is the one dy a year I hope no one talks to me about what’s on TV.

So, what season is it now? I have the answer. It’s the first season of A Series of Unfortunate Events, honey. And it’s phenomenal.

Patrick Warburton’s portrayal of Lemony Snicet is at once upsetting and delightful, a mixture only ever associated with the Lemony Snicket I know and love. The writing is a marvelous marriage of the classic books and new ideas. The incrdible cast is frosting on the cake and Daniel Handler’s Hitchcock-esque cameos are the sprinkles on the frosting on the cake.

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I started to read the Austere Academy again when I finihed the series to better imagie how Netflix is going to bring it to life in season two. Listen. Listen. No one s more excited about Carmelita Spats than I am, and I will fight you on that.

I don’t want to give any spoilers to any o you who haven’t inished yet, so I will close with this – nothing could make me happier than to know that this horrible, wretched, depressing story is being televisd to reach and repel as large a goup of people as possible.

It’s exactly the opposite of what Mr. Snicket would want.

Now. If you’re done feeling annoyed by my grammatical errors, then take a figurative page out of Lemony Snicket’s literal book (Specifically, The Wide Window) and find out what I’m really trying to say here. 

The world is quiet here.

Trailer Breakdown for An Unfortunate Teaser

5 Jul

Before I begin, I have to make two things clear.

1) Today, when I say “I’m crying,” I don’t mean in an angsty way.

2) Today, when I say “I’m crying,” I am not joking. I am 100%, hand over my heart, experiencing Mr. misty eyes syndrome and my nose is stuffed up and my voice is cracking.

I’m crying.

And it’s all because of this glittering pile of book-adapted treasure that has come to ruin my life and make sure I can’t focus on a single thing for the duration of the new week.

The day has come.

Click here to watch the official teaser for the TV series adaption of A Series of Unfortunate Events, and then stroll on back for some well-placed shrieks of anguish.

And in case you are tempted to say I didn’t warn you, remember, the illusive Lemony Snicket tried to stop you from the very Bad Beginning.

“In this [show], not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.”

*melancholy music begins*
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Straight ahead, you’ll see an LP for the one and only Lemony Snicket tribute band. Behind you, you’ll see me, weeping with anguish and unable to speak.
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“Wow,” you breathe. “What a gorgeous set.” You find I am unable to reply, having begun to tear my hair.
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“Geez,” you comment. “That’s a little terrifying.” You stop talking when you realize I excused myself a few minutes ago to scream into a pillow in the room next door.
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Fun fact: While I was taking these screencaps in my room with the lights off, I was feverishly whispering under my breath “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe this is happening to me.”
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Okay, that wasn’t a fun fact. But you know what is? That this is definitely a scene from the Reptile Room (Book the Second).
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And that those two tickets in the top left corner are to a Marvelous Marriage (Book the First).
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That the Mushroom Minutiae isn’t going to be incorporated until Book the Eleventh and that therefore I have no logical reason not to expect that the entire series is going to be coming to dark, miserable life.soue_8

Oh, and we can’t forget the Lucky Smells Lumbermill (Book the Fourth), the backdrop to my favorite recurring nightmares. Can’t wait to relive that horror show. soue_9

It’s hard to put into words just how I feel about the VFD eye on the top book getting represented on screen just the way it was illustrated in the original canon, but try to imagine waking up and finding that literally the only thing you wanted from TV for a good six years of your life is happening for real in YOUR REAL LIFE LIKE  W O W  CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING FOR REAL
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Give me three forlorn orphans making the most out of the worst conditions imaginable (more specifically, making puttanesca out of the worst conditions imaginable).
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Give me inventing and reading and biting.soue_12

Give me Lachrymose Leeches and Incredibly Deadly Vipers and give mesoue_13 soue_14

“… Count Olaf. It was the bad guy.”

Lemony Snicket
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Do my hands normally shake like this?

soue_17Netflix has always been good to us, but today? Today it has given us a Vastly Fantastic Donative, (a word which here means “gift”) and we should all spend a moment in silence in respect to the man who sacrificed his own relative happiness and well-being to bring us the sad tale of the Baudelaire orphans.

It would only be appropriate to close with his words –

“Waiting is one of life’s hardships.”

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Someone, please. Hold me.

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EDIT: It has come to my attention that this trailer has been largely dismissed as fan-made. I can respect that (actually it’s way more impressive if it is fan-made), however, I would like to kindly remind you, while staying open to any and all outcomes, that the man who said this was a hoax was also the man that wrote “Please don’t read this” on the back of every book of a series that sold over 60 million copies world-wide.

I’m pretty interested to see how this pans out.

The Sneaky Cycle of the Serial Program

29 May

Having Netflix is like having all of time and space in your backyard.

Enchanting? Yes.

Irresistible?  Very nearly.

Dangerous? More than I can say.

At the beginning, it is all innocent enough. First you think, “I can watch that one TV show that I don’t have the channel for!” but then it turns into, “I heard good things about that show! Also this show. And that one. Probably.” until it finally devolves into, “That film exists. Might as well partake!”

Even more sinister is the amount of shows on Netflix. You could never really run out of them, and if you did, well, welcome to your first interaction (albeit over the internet) with another human being! We have support groups for people like you. (They’re also on the internet. Imagine that!)

And TV shows are sneakier than movies. With movies, you can have closure. When the credits roll after something like Megamind, you think, That was a lovely movie. I might watch it again someday.

After the end sequence of an episode of Lost, you think, I’m going to watch this show until it literally kills me, aren’t I? 

Because TV shows keep going! You have more each week! (Or, if you have Netflix, all the time) And with a weekly dose, you begin to form a habit. I got to the point that every Sunday night, I was sitting down to watch Once Upon a Time and thinking, I hope this episode isn’t as bad as it was last week. (It invariably was) My dad heard about my system and informed me that this habit was just as bad as continuing to date someone who never lived up to my expectations. I replied by telling him that I was sure that if I just stayed with the show a little longer, I could change it for the better.

This is what normal people refer to as “a problem.” However, I’m glad to say that Once Upon a Time and I are now taking time away from each other, and we’re both acting very mature about it.

I’ve noticed that television shows that you don’t end up disliking tend to stick to the following steps:

     1. Introduction. Maybe you know someone who watches the show, and you watch it out of courtesy/curiosity. Or maybe you’ve just been wondering about the show for a while and you decide to give it a try.

     2. Interest. This is when you realize the show is pretty okay. Maybe you’ll watch the next episode, possibly even the rest of the season. You know, if you get around to it.

     3. Intrigue. Now you like the show. Why hadn’t you heard about if before? Maybe you’ll attend a marathon showing of this program. You might even tell a couple other people about how good it is.

     4. Insanity. This is when you’re watching episodes you’ve already seen three times. This is when you start buying merchandise related to the show. This is when you start making references to people who don’t even know who you are, much less what the show is. And of course, this is when you turn to the internet for help with your now out-of-control feelings. And you start a blog.

Some people stop with the first three steps, and that is fine, not to mention socially acceptable. I even know a couple people who only went to step #2 and #3 with Doctor Who, and that’s downright impressive to me.

Book series are just as perilous, and often follow the same steps. The only difference there is that instead of Netflix, the place to go to entirely lose your wits is called a “library.” (And it’s the most glorious place on earth)

The main thing we have to watch is where enjoying something turns into wasting far too much time on something. Hey, if a story is going to keep going on, we want to be there to witness it. And there’s no shame in that!

Just be warned. It’s dangerous out there, and it’s infinitely more dangerous to go alone.

Take a fangirl with you.