Tag Archives: Princess

Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined Part 2

25 Jul

In Part 1 of Career Mapping for the Fictionally Inclined, I discussed how important it is to begin thinking about what you will do with your life one day. The fictional world is full of career opportunities, and in the interest of deciding which one is best for us, I have extended the job search.

Let’s begin.

Disney Princess.

Upside: Do I have to explain the upsides of being a Disney princess? I can talk to animals, have spectacular hair, my wardrobe is superb, I can sing in public and not get weird looks, and handsome prince is often involved at some point.

Downside: My father apparently has terrible judgment when it comes to spouses. I, for one, would like to know how he went from marrying my mother, who was allegedly a perfect angel, to marrying an evil sorceress who murdered him shortly after the wedding. Come on, Dad. I’m sure there were signs. And if step-mothers are not an issue in my story, then there’s always some conflict, whether it be my social standing, my prince thinking I’m a dude, or how trapped in a tower I am.

Psychic Detective

Upside: So. many. snacks. Additionally, I am expected to do the finger-waving to make my psychic powers more convincing, and I can’t tell you how happy I would be to get paid for doing that. My job description? To catch killers, have adventures, flirt with clients, and work with my best friend. You know that’s right.

Downside: I literally lie for a living. This could get old after a while. I would be a considerable target for serial killers, and, if I’m being totally honest with myself, I would gain thirty pounds in the first week if I were allowed to have so many snack breaks.

X-Man

Upside: Mutant powers and world-saving – nuff said.

Downside: X-Men probably catch more drama than any other super-powered individual in the Marvel multiverse. Not only does every non-mutant person hate my guts, but somehow, by the end of the school year at Xavier’s, every student has about three ex-significant others. Not to mention, the chances of being driven insane and altering reality or destroying a planet are frighteningly high.

Maze Runner

Upside: Most prestigious position in the community. A Maze Runner gets exercise, respect, and the knowledge that he may one day solve the maze, free the Gladers, and maybe get some answers.

Downside: That “knowledge” I mentioned above is a bit closer to wishful thinking than a state of knowing. And I’d have to watch out for Grievers, the most terrifyingly confusing creature known to YA literature. Not cool. It’s also worth mentioning that if I run for longer than seventy-four seconds, my own body starts trying to murder me.

Gamemaker

Upside: Fabulous dress code. I could smother myself in gold powder, and not one person could question me. I could stick stickers on my face and not one person would question me. I could stitch an outfit together out of teddy bears and hand grenades and no one would question me.

Downside: The whole sending-23-kids-off-to-certain-death thing is a bit of an issue for me.

Doctor

       Wait, a doctor or the Doctor?

The Doctor.

       Of course.

Upside: Traveling through all of time and space, making friends, and saving galaxies – I could get used to this. The company vehicle has its own personality, and knows where I should go before even I do. I have no living co-workers, so no one can cramp my style. My style, by the way, would love to include wearing a vegetable or a fez.

Downside: Time is in flux, I know, but I’m sure I would still find a way to totally mess it up. I’m not a tidy crier, and I’m pretty sure I have to cry at least once a day in this occupation. The pressure of saving the universe is an intense one, and I for one would not like to see the universe under my protection. Did I mention that I have no living co-workers? Yes? Well, did I mention that that’s because I killed them?

Once again, I believe there are more fictional occupations that I missed, so feel free to give me some more ideas! And remember, when deciding which career path is best for you, be sure to factor in whether you have the right temperament, goals, and/or species to properly complement the job.

Happy hunting!