Tag Archives: X Files

There Has to be a Reasonable Explanation | One Nerdy Turn Deserves Another Vol. 5

5 Mar

[Historical context -my birthdays: 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. jen’s birthdays: 20, 21, 22, 23]

You know Jennifer, sisters are known for being able to speak in a series of jokes only they understand or being able to communicate through glances. I’m stoked that we’ve gotten to experience that over the last couple decades – but I’m particularly stoked that now you know what I’m talking about when I mention such well-loved TV episodes as “the one with exploding pus” and “the hate him, wouldn’t want to date him one with witches.”

Under the circumstances, I can think of no better way to celebrate your birthday than with X-Files. Can you? No, you can’t. Do you want to know why?

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My girl is so right. Let’s go.

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Jen, look at you hitting that twenty-four-year mark! You’re absolutely killing it.

Yeah, I could only briefly look for a gif to match that phrase.

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I have to draw lines, I really do. This is a birthday, and a birthday calls for something more cheerful than gifs about alien deaths. Wholesome images! Images about life and its possibilities!

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By the way, I love what you’ve done with yours. Even if Jen-smiling-in-front-of-a-lighthouse has pretty much become a meme back here in the Beaver state, we’re always so happy to see pictures of your cute face.

For your birthday, I’m gonna get you so many things. I’m gonna get you Moana. I’m gonna get you something yummy to eat. I’m gonna get you to look at this gif.

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Best present of all, right? Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh haha wow I have to stay on topic. What was this post about? You? I think so. Let’s talk about you! Let’s talk about how you’ve spent the last 24 years being a top notch 10/10 human being. You make people comfortable, and you make them laugh, and for that everyone who knows you would like to thank you.

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It’s weird to have you so far away. I hope you’re making good choices without me to keep you in check with regular Doctor Who nights and that one pancake recipe I know. If you ever feel unsure, just don’t forget what you learned in Oregon before California ever got its paws on you.

If you ever do lose your way and get yourself in trouble, just be honest.

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Keep working hard, taking it easy, smiling, and trying new things. Who knows what you’ll see?

Jesus loves you, I love you, and frankly, I don’t think California can resist loving you. At the end of the day, what more could anyone want?

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You’re 24 today. One more time – Happy birthday. Don’t forget to treat yourself, kiddo.

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The Truth is Taking Its Sweet, Sweet Time Out There

22 Jan

 

Today I have a mission – to get you as ready for X Files season 10 as I am.

First, let’s get something straight – I didn’t watch this widely acclaimed cult classic scifi show until this summer, when it suddenly became ultra-relevant with news of a revival.

On my never-ending hunt to consume as much pop culture as possible, I took a look at the 1990s series’ summary – two agents investigate unexplained cases and conspiracy theories for the FBI. (For the uninitiated – there has never been anything more up my alley. This is my show)

The series is re-appearing for an encore (again), with a six-episode event this Sunday night, January 24th. With returning actors like Gillian Anderson, David Duchovny, Mitch Pileggi, and William B. Davis, the show promises to bring back the thrills, jokes, and the screams of “wait WHY ISN’T THAT GUY DEAD” that the original series had.

(Fans are also hoping the network has been more generous with the lighting budget this time around. Fingers crossed. Send some light bulbs FOX’s way if you think about it.)

As with anything, there are some mixed feelings about the revival, but for the most part, and certainly on mine, there is irrepressible excitement and undying hype.

However, as it has been explained to me, not everyone wants to spend a couple hundred hours curled up with Netflix to prepare for the TV event of the century! Not to fear. I’ve compiled the info you need to know. So! Meet the main characters.

Dana Scully: A tiny doctor-turned-FBI-agent who is assigned to assist (see also: spy on and debunk the work of) Fox Mulder in his work on the X-Files. She is skeptical to Mulder’s out-there beliefs, but she follows his passion and with her know-how and bad-assery, proves essential to the investigations.

Fox Mulder: A huge FBI-agent-turned-FBI’s-least-wanted who has spent years working on the X-Files looking for evidence of the aliens that abducted his sister when they were both children. Highly intelligent and stubborn as anything, nothing will get in the way for his search for truth or his gazing at Scully.

As far as plot goes? I don’t want to dive down any spoilery rabbit holes, so I’ll boil off that fat for you. Essentially, the X Files is nine seasons and two feature-length movies of variations of the following three conversations:

Scully: Mulder, are you suggesting that satanist, genetically-modified bumblebee ceramic figurines from outer space are responsible for this occurrence?

Mulder: Definitely.

Scully: Unbelievable.

____

Scully: Aliens aren’t real.

Mulder: They are real; my sister was taken by one. You were taken by one. I was taken by one. This whole chunk of random dying ladies were taken by one. I painted a picture of one. Here comes one right now.

Scully: Unbelievable.

____

Scully: I think there’s a God.

Mulder: ??? Well that’s because you’re gullible and you’ll believe anything, sweetie. 🙂 I just wish I could be as trusting and hopeful as you. 🙂 🙂 Come talk to me when you’re ready to be logical about this hun. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Scully: Unbelievable.

Now you’re as ready as I am.

Two days, kids. I’ll be on the couch, eating UFO cake pops and singing (?) along to the theme music.