Trailer Breakdown of Thor: The Dark World

The first trailer for Thor: The Dark World came out this week, so obviously, there have been copious amounts of fangirling going on all over the world. If you already know about this, you’ve probably already watched it. So all that remains is to analyze the trailer, correct?

Excuse me while I do just that. You can enlarge any picture by clicking on it.

First of all: stuff is floating. You all probably noticed that.

Why are all the vehicles floating? Is this just how the villain rolls?

BEHOLD THE TERRIFYING AUTOMOBILE-FLOTATION POWER OF MALEKITH, MORTALS.

But who’s this? Is this the prodigal love interest?

Why, yes sir. Welcome back, Jane Foster. I see that your ankles have not changed since your last cinematic appearance.

Cue the incessantly vague shots of Malekith.

So far all I truly know is that you have an affinity for dark rooms and levitation. I feel like we need to get to know each other a bit more before this movie comes out.

Oh, and mass destruction. I missed that bit. File that just above levitation.

Enter everyone’s favorite third wheel.

Welcome back Darcy Lewis! If you don’t tase or flirt with Malekith, I’m going to be very disappointed in you.

Yes, yes. It wouldn’t be fabulous without this sequence.

BOOM.

And that, gentlemen, is how you make an entrance.

He knows you’re impressed, Jane.

Look at that face. He knows.

However, that look on Jane’s face, is not exactly a go-ahead face. I hope you’re not about to whisk her away to a rainbow bridge or some-

Come on, Thor.

Here’s to spending your summer in anticipation of November!

The look. We all know it. The Lady Sif does not approve of your shenanigans, Thor, and by shenanigans, I mean Padme Jane.

“KRSSHH”

It’s nice to be reminded that Midgard isn’t the only horrifyingly disturbed realm.

“If we do nothing, they will destroy us!”

Thor, you’re talking to the actual king of “do nothing,” the man who created a meme with his terrible parenting tactics.

At least one of his sons didn’t grow up to go insane. That’s all a parent can ask for these days.

Here he comes now. It’s gonna be legen-

Wait for iiiiiiiit

Dary! Legendary!

“Ask yourself -“

What? Is that Christopher Eccleston?

“What will you sacrifice for what you believe?”

Yes it is. It’s the Doctor. This is apparently what happens when you travel alone for too long.

You become Darth Vader.

The Ninth Doctor always seemed a little intense and dark to me, but this is getting a bit far.

Yes, far too far. Put Padme down, Doctor.

“You must be truly desperate to come to me for help.”

I can’t be the only one channeling Nick Fury right now. Say, it Thor, say it. Loki threw that one over the plate for you.

“The Doctor has made me very desperate. He might not be glad that he did.”

“You should know that when you betray me, I will kill you.”

No? Just death threats? All right then, I’ll take what I get. Are we going to get to see Loki? Give us Loki! If they don’t let us see Loki in this trailer, I am going to be very, extremely

What have they DONE

The One About Readers

If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that they didn’t like to read, I’d probably have about six nickels.

*crickets*

::anticlimactic::

Okay, that isn’t many, but every time I took a step, I would hear those coins singing from my pocket, and I would think, “Oh, right. People are missing out.” And then after that, I would probably take them out and forget about them for a few weeks, and this coin metaphor for my non-reading friends should really have stopped a while ago.

I think that the disease of not reading starts by getting your heart broken. Maybe you read a book you regretted reading, or you couldn’t finish a story because the writer was so mind-numbingly bad. Even harder, perhaps you read a fantastic book… once. And then it was gone, never called you back, and the world’s been gray ever since. To those people, I want to say, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. Don’t give up, there’s some book for everyone. They want to be enjoyed as much as you want to enjoy one. Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong places. Have you tried online dating (I go to Goodreads.com, myself)?

And for those of you who know all too well the love of a hardbound novel at two in the morning, love on. The world needs more of you. When someone tells me they “don’t like reading” or “don’t read,” I have an emormously difficult time not telling them how cruel they’re being to themselves by keeping themselves in the dark.

As the great masterLemony Snicket once wrote,

“All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.”

Readers don’t see that as much as a warning as they do a challenge.

Take it away, Barney.