Tag Archives: Loki

Someone Really Wanted Our Initials to Spell Out “SHIELD”

25 Sep

Everyone loves autumn. Leaves changing, sweaters rejoicing in their renewed employment, pumpkin spice being added to everything you’ve ever considered eating, and television shows reminding you that you will probably not have evening plans ever again (or at least not for the remainder of the season).

Speaking of which, I watched the Agents of SHIELD pilot last night.

 

This is not a proper review, but it is certainly not spoiler-free, so if you’re planning on watching it with a clean slate, I’d suggest abandoning the internet (including this post) entirely until you do.

The most looked-forward to bit of this episode was probably Phil Coulson, in case you hadn’t guessed by his Captain America-esque pose at the forefront of the group. Look at him. He’s just so… not dead.

As most of you will remember, Agent Coulson died in The Avengers. Like, there-was-no-way-he-could-have-survived dead.

One of the myriad reasons I watched this pilot was to find out how he survived. I had a theory, of course. SHIELD from the Marvel comics had, and regularly used, robots they called “life-model-decoys.” (Tony Stark references them in the first twenty minutes of The Avengers) They were basically super-duper-realistic copies of real people, and they were used to do things that real people didn’t want to do.

I figured that dead Phil Coulson was really not-even-alive-in-the-first-place Phil Coulson.

So I watched the pilot to see if I was right.

And for the first ten minutes, I was treated only to Phil’s cute little comments about being dead. Also vacationing in Tahiti.

I squirmed. Come on, Marvel, you know your fans; you can’t seriously think that we’re going to let this go with no explanation.

At the end of the scene, however, after Phil wandered away from Agent Maria Hill and a certain doctor, the two left behind looked after him sadly. The scientist turned to Agent Hill and said,

“Tahiti. He really doesn’t know, does he?”

“He can never know.”

When Agent Maria Hill uttered those four words, I let out a noise that, looking back, probably wasn’t necessary, nor comforting to my mum, who was sitting behind me, and I suspect, giving me weird looks.

But anyway, the noise was because I had thought about the possibility of Loki skewering life-model-decoy Phil.

I had not thought of the possibility of Loki skewering real life Phil, and SHIELD replacing him with life-model-decoy Phil who believes he’s real life Phil. Pandorica-Rory style.

Only time will tell if this idea becomes canon, but until then, I’m sticking to my theories. (If any of you guys have any, by the way, I’d love to hear them)

Anyway, the episode progressed in a similarly delightful fashion, one of the many high points being when one scientist character said,

“Will you be joining us on our little journey into mystery?”

I see what you did there, Marvel.

Now that I’ve seen the pilot, I’ve learned a few things since I did the Agents of SHIELD trailer breakdown a few months ago. The dude I used to know as Ultimate Spider-Man is actually Mike Peterson, and the young woman I’d dubbed “Covergirl” is named Sky. Or is she? Another thing I guess we’ll discover in later episodes.

Speaking of Sky, she and agent Ward managed to set themselves up for, at the very least, merciless shipping, and at most, a canonical office romance. Nothing ignites the flame like a little hostility on first meeting, right? I mean, I’ve seen television. I know how this works.

And even if they don’t become a thing, which is totally okay and even a little groundbreaking, considering the played-out nature of most TV romances, you have to admit that “Skyward” is probably the most intensely magnificent ship name ever.

Another thing you should know about Sky is that she has been a cosplayer, a fact discovered while the intense Agent Ward was being a jerk to her in the interrogation room.

“She’s probably one of those sweaty cosplay girls who crowds around Stark Tower.”

(Sweaty? Aca-scuse me?)

To which Sky replied by being flustered and then muttering,

“One time.”

The plot itself, which I have barely mentioned yet (this is why I’m not a review blog), mainly consisted of Mike Peterson and his struggle with his superpowers, given to him by a serum-wielding doctor whose intentions and background were rather foggy (don’t do drugs, kids).

About twenty minutes into the show, Mike began having unexplained rages, and went to visit this doctor to discuss them. She explained very little except to reference Extremis (WAT) and say,

“The people who gave me this technology are very serious about this.”

Then she said that “the last guy” who got the serum that Mike had received went nuts. About half a minute after she told him this, Mike went nuts. As he crawled out the window, angry at the doctor, and half-way to blowing up due to the serum he’d received from her, the doctor shook her head and said,

“This is a disaster.”

Mike looked back at her and said,

“No. It’s an origin story.”

^ This character went from zero to self-aware in twenty minutes. Ambitious.

In case you were worried, the agents of SHIELD got to him before he blew up and everyone went home happy. Sky, not actually an agent, was even  invited into the fold at the end of the episode, as Agent Phil Coulson took her for a drive in Lola, the most beautiful vehicle to grace my screen for a long while.

The show ended with Phil Coulson getting a call about an “O-83.” Sky spoke for us all and asked what that meant. With a smile, Coulson turned to Sky and told her she had ten minutes to decide if she really wanted to know. Sky, the rookie, expressed her skepticism that Lola could get them anywhere in just ten minutes.

Possibly-life-model-decoy Coulson smirked and flicked a switch.

And then… something happened.

I will sometimes complain about cheesiness, but truth is, as Lola purred to life and her tires turned outwards and propelled her off the ground Back-to-the-Future style, I smiled. Okay. Flying cars. Why should that be harder to swallow than flying humans?

And it’s an O-83, after all. Where they’re going, they don’t need roads.

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Ain’t No Party Like Comic-Con

22 Jul

A little while back, I was mindlessly scrolling through tumblr, when I stumbled upon a strange image.

It was a young man with a bar stool on his head. In one hand, he held a whisk, and in the other, a plunger.

The caption read “My cosplay.”

You know how he looks to normal people?

Crazy.

This dude looks stark raving mad.

But to those of us in the know – well, he still looks stark raving mad, but we know he’s dressing up as the Doctor’s most hated enemy, the Dalek. (Daleks have no concept of elegance)

Now picture this type of person, fully insane and loving it, and multiply it by (give or take) 130,000. Just for kicks, give them all money to burn and take away any semblance of will power they thought they had. Got it? Good. Now put all of them in the same convention center in a little town called San Diego. Hello, Comic-Con.

The 2013 San Diego Comic-Con ended last Sunday after four days of fangirls and fanboys cosplaying, trailer-watching, panel-visiting, line-standing, and a gloriously unhealthy amount of screaming. I did not attend, but I was as present as I could be without utilizing money and gas to be “there” in the physical sense. From my remote location, I learned a few things about this year’s SDCC.

  • At the X-Men: Days of Future Past panel, attendees asked all the right questions: “With the expanding Marvel universe… Is Deadpool possible?”
  • … And got all the wrong answers: “Anything’s possible.

So… no? Just say no. Stop allowing my hopes to exist.

There would have been a Catching Fire trailer breakdown post, but there’s already been one trailer released, and as my breakdown dialogue would have been made up of all-caps declarations of love for this film and its characters, it would have gotten real weird real fast. And my posts are never weird.

  • The Doctor Who 50th Anniversary trailer was shown exclusively to the comic-con audience.
  • Said trailer was then denied internet release for a few weeks. Or months. 

Remember, these are the same people who still haven’t given you season three of Sherlock.

  • Season four of Sherlock was confirmed. 

Cool, guys. I’ll just pencil that in for 2021.

  • Loki of Asgard gate-crashed the Thor: The Dark World panel and raised his army from a seemingly innocent crowd of by-standers.

And every Hiddlestoner there died instantaneously. I’m only kind of exaggerating. Watch the way-too-easy take-over here.

  • The title of Avengers 2 was made public. The year 2015 will see the release of The Avengers: Age of Ultron.

I know what you’re thinking. And by that, I mean, “I know what I was thinking.”

“Yes! Finally, an intro for Henry Pym (Ant-Man/Giant Man/Goliath/Yellowjacket/The dude who created Ultron) and Janet Van Dyne (Wasp), who, by the way, should have shown up a while ago, but who cares? No one can leave them out of the story now!”

  • Joss Whedon confirmed that Henry Pym would not be part of Ultron’s origin story.

Not cool.

These are just a few highlights from the biggest nerd party in the country. I didn’t attend, and maybe you didn’t either. That’s fine! It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and hey, you can get most of the details on the internet anyway.

We didn’t make it this time. That’s okay.

But let’s not make it a habit.

See you next year, fanpeople.

Real Life

27 May

Last Saturday evening, I watched seventeen homeschool kids graduate from high school.

For me, it was mainly a two hour long reminder that next year, it’s my turn.

And then I have to start thinking about real life.

Be right back, I have to stress-eat myself into a stupor.

I was just talking to Invisible Woman about this, as she is graduating in my year. As we stood in a room crowded with people congratulating our friend who starts college soon, Invisible Woman said, “It seems like, as I get older, the graduates keep getting younger.” Right? I thought it would take forever to get to graduating age. Spoiler alert: It took a lot less time than that.

So let’s get serious. I suppose it’s time now. It’s time to start planning my life.

Whoa, slow down. Not that serious. I’m thinking as far ahead as graduation ceremony speech. Let’s not get carried away, here.

One thing is known about my speech so far (besides the pre-requisite thanking of my enormously spectacular parents and Creator). It must be one of the nerdiest things I’ve ever written. I want it to be subtle enough that non-fangirls and boys will just think that the speech is riddled with oddly-put cliches, but to those in the know – every word a reference. There should be Doctor Who and Lemony Snicket and Disney and Sherlock and F. Scott Fitzgerald and Dr. Horrible and Fawlty Towers and Star Wars. There needs to be random selections spoken in a British accent and others to be pronounced as if I were Will Ferrell. And if I can blackmail one of my friends into completing a quote for me from the audience, I most definitely will.

I want to warn you all. I just might try the speech out on you to see how it goes over.

Graduation day is your last hurrah to your school days before something like real life begins (which I am, in fact, going to try to start planning), is it not? So what is the point in its being superfluously “adult”?

The day may come when I must act like a grown-up, but it is not that day!

That day we fight graduate!

Trailer Breakdown of Thor: The Dark World

25 Apr

The first trailer for Thor: The Dark World came out this week, so obviously, there have been copious amounts of fangirling going on all over the world. If you already know about this, you’ve probably already watched it. So all that remains is to analyze the trailer, correct?

Excuse me while I do just that. You can enlarge any picture by clicking on it.

First of all: stuff is floating. You all probably noticed that.

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Why are all the vehicles floating? Is this just how the villain rolls?

yep

BEHOLD THE TERRIFYING AUTOMOBILE-FLOTATION POWER OF MALEKITH, MORTALS.

But who’s this? Is this the prodigal love interest?
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Why, yes sir. Welcome back, Jane Foster. I see that your ankles have not changed since your last cinematic appearance.

Cue the incessantly vague shots of Malekith.
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So far all I truly know is that you have an affinity for dark rooms and levitation. I feel like we need to get to know each other a bit more before this movie comes out.

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Oh, and mass destruction. I missed that bit. File that just above levitation.

Enter everyone’s favorite third wheel.

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Welcome back Darcy Lewis! If you don’t tase or flirt with Malekith, I’m going to be very disappointed in you.

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Yes, yes. It wouldn’t be fabulous without this sequence.

BOOM.

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And that, gentlemen, is how you make an entrance.thor_8

He knows you’re impressed, Jane.thor_9

Look at that face. He knows.thor_10

However, that look on Jane’s face, is not exactly a go-ahead face. I hope you’re not about to whisk her away to a rainbow bridge or some-

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Come on, Thor.

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Here’s to spending your summer in anticipation of November!
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The look. We all know it. The Lady Sif does not approve of your shenanigans, Thor, and by shenanigans, I mean Padme Jane.

“KRSSHH”

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It’s nice to be reminded that Midgard isn’t the only horrifyingly disturbed realm.

“If we do nothing, they will destroy us!”

Thor, you’re talking to the actual king of “do nothing,” the man who created a meme with his terrible parenting tactics.thor_15

At least one of his sons didn’t grow up to go insane. That’s all a parent can ask for these days.

Here he comes now. It’s gonna be legen-thor_16

Wait for iiiiiiiit

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Dary! Legendary!

“Ask yourself -“

What? Is that Christopher Eccleston?

“What will you sacrifice for what you believe?”

Yes it is. It’s the Doctor. This is apparently what happens when you travel alone for too long.

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You become Darth Vader.

The Ninth Doctor always seemed a little intense and dark to me, but this is getting a bit far.

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Yes, far too far. Put Padme down, Doctor.

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“You must be truly desperate to come to me for help.”

I can’t be the only one channeling Nick Fury right now. Say, it Thor, say it. Loki threw that one over the plate for you.

“The Doctor has made me very desperate. He might not be glad that he did.”

“You should know that when you betray me, I will kill you.”

No? Just death threats? All right then, I’ll take what I get. Are we going to get to see Loki? Give us Loki! If they don’t let us see Loki in this trailer, I am going to be very, extremely

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What have they DONE

My People

22 Mar

Several weeks ago at dinnertime, my sister Jennifer and I were talking about how badly we wanted to attend the San Diego Comic-Con. As our discussion grew more heated and our voices more maniacal, my daddy interrupted us – “Girls, I went to a comic convention once.”

“Did you?”

“Yes. Once.” He laughed. “Those are not our people.”

Jennifer and I turned and shared a look.

Oh, but Daddy,” I sighed, leaning in to give him the bad news, “those are our people.”

My people.

Fangirls cannot exist by themselves. We are not lone wolves. Many of us are introverts, and therefore not exactly pack animals, but alone, we wilt. If I didn’t have my Fangirl friends to support me, I would keep every well-placed Disney quote to myself, and I would never be able to squeal without shame over Mr. Darcy’s face. I would not know the pleasure of being able to share a knowing look with a companion when someone said the word “spoilers” and I would certainly never be able to yell “You’re such an idiot! You’ve been Loki’d again! LOKI’D!” in someone’s face without being carried away by security guards.

This is one of the reasons that my friends are the best friends. They not only put up with me, they go along with me.

My Canby friend told me that when she got a car, she would name the keys “Heimdall” and her car “Bifrost” so that when she went to unlock her car, she could yell (think Thor), “Heimdall, open the Bifrost!”

Phoenix (Yes, I nicknamed my friends with superhero identities. Don’t judge) dressed up as Amy Pond for Halloween, and I dressed as River Song.

Invisible Woman and Wasp sang “Dramatic Song” with me at the top of our lungs (in public) with no shame and all splendor. One of my favorite moments this year.

Kuuipo has the honor of being the first to tell me about the Weeping Angels of Doctor Who, and the first to warn me to never watch them alone. I did, by the way. At night, no less, in a room with bad lights that kept blinking. (Incidentally, when my friend Aydray allowed me to force Doctor Who upon her, her first Weeping Angel experience ended up also being in a dark room at night. Atmosphere is everything, Love.)

I could go on [forever], but I don’t want you all to get massively jealous. Many of you are my people too, after all, and I love you guys. And I love my friends. Yes, of course, even the ones that aren’t Fangirls. Love. That’s why it’s so unfortunate that I don’t let them know how smashing they are more often.

I find, and I don’t think I’m the only one that does, that it’s pretty darn easy to take friends for granted. They’ve been with me through so much, that I tend to think that they have no choice but to go on that way – but they do. The fact that they haven’t abandoned me yet is cause for celebration in itself. The friends who I have not kept as well, I miss, but the ones I have? It is harder to remember to cherish them.

If anyone doesn’t consider themselves a nerd and yet is still reading my blog (my my, how brave of you!), I they as well know what I’m talking about. This is not a problem exclusive to me, nor to nerds. Even if you don’t have conversations with friends that consist mainly of pop culture references, you still have friends that are precious. So let them know! Write a letter (handwritten – don’t cheat) or meet for tea or plan a Marvel Movie Marathon day.

Okay, so that one is a bit more exclusive to nerds again, but hey, work with me here. I was totally normal for about five seconds. Small victories!

That said, I have to go write a letter.

Have a sparkling day!