Twenty-Five Hundred Denzel Washingtons |One Nerdy Turn Deserves Another Vol. 6

Dear Jen, These posts are all about being timely, right? As far as both the date and whatever it is you’re currently loving? Well, we do our best.

It’s Monday, the fifth of March, 2018!

Today, you’re 25 years old!!

Happy birthday!!!

Um, how could I forget?

Hey! Check? You? Out? What a birthday girl.

Honestly, you deserve the best birthday. I hope it’s everything you love, happening one thing right after another. Some kind of a shindig.

Turning twenty-five is a big deal! It’s a good strong number. And, as we’ve discussed, your frontal lobe is now fully developed, so you know what that means.

So sick.

You’re a quarter of a century old now, kiddo. But don’t give me any of that trash about being old or not being able to learn as much as before you hit that 25-year mark. I can’t use that “damn dirty lies” gif from Bob’s Burger’s due to the cosmic laws of our birthday posts, but still, that mindset is, in fact, a damn dirty lie. It’s deceiving.

And by the way, shout-out to that weirdo I know who?? snapchatted me??? while she was doing pre-algebra????? for fun?????????

Nothing. There’s nothing you can’t do.

Oh and also

Here’s to a new year of podcast referrals, care packages, HQ play-alongs, and lighthouse pictures. I wouldn’t have you any other way, unless maybe you were a little closer.

I love you so much Jenzie! Happy birthday.

Google Searches and Talking to Smog

One of the most interesting things about life is the paths it takes you on, and what doors it opens for you whether or not you asked for them.

For instance: you are reading my blog. Imagine that.

You may be one of my followers, or you may have been a stranger until this exact moment. You may even be one of those people who came here by complete accident and then began flailing around frantically, trying to get out. This post is dedicated to those people.

When you have a blog with WordPress, you can check your stats and see how many people made their way to your blog. There’s a section on the stats page where you can see what terms were typed into search engines to help people find you. And I can tell you right now, most of the searches that brought people here were not fruitful.

So I thought I’d address those odd searches here – if you are looking for serious information on any of the following search terms that I dragged off of my stats page, you should probably look somewhere else.

Now –

busty girl problems

Busty Girl Problems is a webcomic for ladies that is hilariously accurate; furthermore, it is a webcomic I very briefly referred to in a post five months ago and never mentioned again. But that search term is still bringing people here.

Every time I click on “stats” and find out someone searched for Busty Girl Problems and was interrupted by my frighteningly chaotic fangirling, I ache a little on the inside. I’m sorry, guys.

say it out loud a fangirl

This was searched twice. What am I missing out on? It sounds remarkably like song lyrics. If any aspiring song-writers out there have way too much time on their hands and have lost control of their lives anyway, I would love for you to write me this song. If you do, I will personally make you a strawberry lemonade. I might drink it, but I will dedicate it to you.

hobbit elves

I can see it now.

“Hobbit-Elves. Fifty percent Hobbit. Fifty percent Elf. All adventure.”

When this movie happens (someone make this happen), I want all of us to get together and watch the B-movie of the century. Yes? I’ll bring nutella.

Bilbo talking to smog

Oh, you mean “Smaug.” That’s an easy one to misspell. Don’t worry, you’re not judged here.

You may be made fun of, but not judged.

deadpool babysitting

Are you googling this because you signed up to babysit Deadpool and now you need help? Or are you looking to hire Deadpool to babysit your child? Either way, you should get off the internet and find professional help.

why is it taking so long to make httyd [HowToTrainYourDragon] 2?

YOU TELL ME.

sherlock firefly crossover

I don’t know if this search brought you any actual crossover fan art, fanfiction, or fanvid, but your dream is beautiful, and I hope it came true.

how does fandom feel about steven moffat

Well, anything said about fandom is going to be a generalization, but I’ll do my best: How do you feel when someone whom you care for holds your hand? And then takes a rusty razor to your hand and dunks it in lemon juice? And then offers you a new hand next season? And you have to wait three years for the next season Fandom feels a bit like that about Steven Moffat.

feel like i have been kicked in the shins when i have not

If this search term brought you to my blog instead of to the licensed physician you need to speak to, I apologize.

birthday party ideas teenagers fangirls sherlock who merlin

After you switch to decaf, I think you should definitely invite me to this party.

“fandom” “real life”

This one is my favorite, not for the terms, but because the Googler in question chose to place quotation marks around the terms. I believe the Googler must have heard these words spoken somewhere, but couldn’t understand the context; so, in a mist of confusion, said Googler sat down at his laptop and called to mind the strange new words he had heard that day.

“Fandom. Real life.” He sighed as he typed out the mysterious terms he had heard so much about. “Time to find out what you are.” He hit the search button.

And his life was never the same again.

Ain’t No Party Like Comic-Con

A little while back, I was mindlessly scrolling through tumblr, when I stumbled upon a strange image.

It was a young man with a bar stool on his head. In one hand, he held a whisk, and in the other, a plunger.

The caption read “My cosplay.”

You know how he looks to normal people?

Crazy.

This dude looks stark raving mad.

But to those of us in the know – well, he still looks stark raving mad, but we know he’s dressing up as the Doctor’s most hated enemy, the Dalek. (Daleks have no concept of elegance)

Now picture this type of person, fully insane and loving it, and multiply it by (give or take) 130,000. Just for kicks, give them all money to burn and take away any semblance of will power they thought they had. Got it? Good. Now put all of them in the same convention center in a little town called San Diego. Hello, Comic-Con.

The 2013 San Diego Comic-Con ended last Sunday after four days of fangirls and fanboys cosplaying, trailer-watching, panel-visiting, line-standing, and a gloriously unhealthy amount of screaming. I did not attend, but I was as present as I could be without utilizing money and gas to be “there” in the physical sense. From my remote location, I learned a few things about this year’s SDCC.

• At the X-Men: Days of Future Past panel, attendees asked all the right questions: “With the expanding Marvel universe… Is Deadpool possible?”
• … And got all the wrong answers: “Anything’s possible.“

So… no? Just say no. Stop allowing my hopes to exist.

• The new Catching Fire trailer aired and was released to the public. Watch it over and over here.

There would have been a Catching Fire trailer breakdown post, but there’s already been one trailer released, and as my breakdown dialogue would have been made up of all-caps declarations of love for this film and its characters, it would have gotten real weird real fast. And my posts are never weird.

• The Doctor Who 50th Anniversary trailer was shown exclusively to the comic-con audience.
• Said trailer was then denied internet release for a few weeks. Or months. 

Remember, these are the same people who still haven’t given you season three of Sherlock.

• Season four of Sherlock was confirmed. 

Cool, guys. I’ll just pencil that in for 2021.

• Loki of Asgard gate-crashed the Thor: The Dark World panel and raised his army from a seemingly innocent crowd of by-standers.

And every Hiddlestoner there died instantaneously. I’m only kind of exaggerating. Watch the way-too-easy take-over here.

• The title of Avengers 2 was made public. The year 2015 will see the release of The Avengers: Age of Ultron.

I know what you’re thinking. And by that, I mean, “I know what I was thinking.”

“Yes! Finally, an intro for Henry Pym (Ant-Man/Giant Man/Goliath/Yellowjacket/The dude who created Ultron) and Janet Van Dyne (Wasp), who, by the way, should have shown up a while ago, but who cares? No one can leave them out of the story now!”

• Joss Whedon confirmed that Henry Pym would not be part of Ultron’s origin story.

Not cool.

These are just a few highlights from the biggest nerd party in the country. I didn’t attend, and maybe you didn’t either. That’s fine! It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and hey, you can get most of the details on the internet anyway.

We didn’t make it this time. That’s okay.

But let’s not make it a habit.

See you next year, fanpeople.