Two days ago, the official trailer for Robocop was released. This movie is a remake of the 1987 film (also called Robocop, rated R), the movie that set the standard for cheesy action figure wardrobe designs. The jury is still out on whether this remake movie is a brilliant idea or a terrible one, and you’re welcome to form your own opinion.
As it turns out though, I’ve realized that so far, I’ve only done trailer breakdowns for movies/shows that I’m excited about. That seems rather discriminatory. I’m an equal-opportunities blogger, after all. It’s time to analyze Robocop.
Detroit, Michigan, 2028.
Dear people who live in Detroit:
“We are on the eve of a technological revolution.”
Nick Fury! Okay, I can get behind that.
As Ivan Vanko from Iron Man 2 would say, “Drones better.”
*Car alarm sounds*
*Car alarm continues*
Don’t open the-
“We’re gonna put a man inside a machine.”
Hospitals in 2028 get far less efficient in their use of space, apparently.
“He’s suffered fourth-degree burns over 80% of his body…”
“… If he survives, he will be paralyzed from the waist down.”
*Dramatic musical swelling*
Have I seen this scene before?
Mmm. Okay. Moving on.
“The hell did you do to me?”
Oh, you like that visor? It’s triggered by murderous thoughts. I thought it was a nice touch.
Good call, balding dude. The gray suit was way too frilly. No one would have taken him seriously.
“It’s the illusion of free will.”
“Oh, well, that seems foolproof.”
“I’ve selected thirteen targets all wanted for murder.”
Thirteen? In one crowd?
“This is the future of American justice.”
Nick Fury, darling. You’re better than this.
And balder than this.
I’m sorry, Robocop, does your suit spontaneously generate weapons?
Can’t we all just get along? I know plenty of perfectly happy cyborgs.
“Somehow, he’s overriding the system’s priorities.”
Again with the whole “I’ve-never-seen-a-movie-before” thing.
Do I see something exploding? How did the movie industry know I liked that?
Something else exploding! Can I pre-order my ticket now?
Coming February 2014