Look at you.
You’re on the internet during the San Diego Comic-Con week.
Hey, me too. I feel you. We’re on the outside, peeking in through the proverbial window. Think of all the people right now, sweating out of their larger-than-life cosplays and screaming to each other about that teaser that they just saw that you will not see for nine more months. Think of them and let that tear slide down your cheek.
Pull yourself together. You know what you need? A diversion.
As a life-long expert on the topic of hijacking conversations, changing subjects, and general denial, I’ve come today to try to distract you. To help you get your mind off those pesky voices whispering, “people have been able to touch Chris Evans today,” and “Hundreds of people are within earshot of Cecil Baldwin right now” while you’re trying to get work done.
(This is only treating a symptom, of course. You should probably seek professional advice about those voices.)
I recommend some form of working with your hands. An especially easy paper craft would be downloading and printing out some of the adorable free printable mascots over at Digitprop. I’ll walk you through it.
- Glue or tape
Step Two: Stick indicated sides together to make the shape of the man. Tape, glue, or really, any mild adhesive will do. I actually used an envelope sealer because I have so undeniably hit rock bottom. But we’re not here to talk about that. We’re here specifically to not talk about that.
Optional Step: If needed, intensify folding by singing death metal to drown out the sound of cheering coming from the general direction of San Diego.Step Three: Admire your new mascot. Well done! You were almost productive today! Try not to notice that your little paper friend looks like an adipose. Try even harder not to notice that he has a bowtie, much like a whole different type of alien whom you’ll never get to see at a Comic-Con again.
Step Four: Give up. Print out the blank printable instead, to create a parchment pal who won’t loaf around on your desk looking like a cheap piece of Comic-Con merch.Step Five: Cut out new blank printable.
Step Six: Decide who you would like to be your new mascot and draw their likeness on your beautiful blank canvas. Be creative! Maybe create a new person altogether, someone with his or her own hopes and dreams. Someone unique, like you.
Step Seven: Did you just make the Vision?
Step Nine: Give him a cape.
(And don’t forget to check out the Vision in all his glory on the new Avengers: Age of Ultron poster.)