There are a lot of careers out there. There are some I’m suited for, and way more that I am most definitely not.
But I’ll never know unless I scope them out, right? Today, I’m looking at some of the careers I’ve been very interested in as of late.
Scarer at Monsters Inc.
Upside: I can be scary. And the weird part of my head quite likes the idea of sneaking around and screaming at people while they’re asleep.
Downside: The normal part of my head is very ashamed that the weird part just wrote that down. Also, I would apologize profusely to the kids I scare. And if an adorable little girl followed me out of her room, I would probably play with her and be promptly fired.
Editor of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
Upside: Adventure. Interesting people (and other… beings). Universal travel. The chance to help countless generations after me to do the same (for less than 30 Altairian dollars a day).
Downside: High possibility of getting stranded on mostly harmless (but boring) planets. One of the more dangerous and unpredictable careers I could choose. It’s very improbable that a human could land it anyway. But hey, more improbable things have happened, yeah?
Captain of the Enterprise.
Upside: Travel, adventure, and discovery. Witty banter dished out liberally on a daily basis. Flirting in the workplace is practically encouraged. Loose code of conduct allows me to mess up, get fired, and get re-hired immediately if I endear myself to commanders beforehand.
Downside: There are definite reasons as to why no man has ever boldly gone where I’m going. And I will probably find out the hard way.
Upside: My job is saving the world. What better job description can you get? Also, my co-workers are entertaining, interesting, and occasionally mythical. Very few careers promise that. Also? SHAWARMA.
Downside: Paparazzi. Being constantly starstruck by co-workers. Possibility of dying with each workday, and the pressure of being a “superhero.” PTSD and anxiety attacks have been common in this line of work.
Upside: The ultra-intelligence needed to allow me to fit in to this career allows me to figure everyone out, all day every day. I can tell what’s on people’s minds, and I can work that to my advantage. Also: being arrogant is in my job description, and I am my own boss. The police let me know when they need me, and I let them know when they can have me.
Downside: That ultra-intelligence I mentioned would take a very long time to gather, and while I’m not bashing my own intellect, let’s just say I cannot tell a computer programmer by his tie. Another con would be that serial killers are always trying to murder me. As diverting as I’m sure it is, it is rather inconvenient for my long-term plan (living). And I would have no friends. Well, maybe one.
I can tell that this is going to take me a little time. After all, choosing a career is nothing to take lightly. I’m sure I missed a couple fiction-based occupations, so be sure to let me know if any of you have something in mind!
Have a day full of literal and metaphorical sunshine, and I wish you all the best of luck with your endeavors, fictional and otherwise.